Continued from: Weyr Shopping
Xanadu Weyr - Meadow Ridge
The meadow continues its gentle rolls and dips, grass tall and short waving in the slightest of breezes. Each hill seems to grow a bit higher, a bit steeper, as eventually, the meadow works up to a large ridge, the top flattening out at its new elevation.
From the top of the ridge, the view is certainly something to be admired - higher than the majority of the trees, one can look out over the rest of Xanadu Weyr proper. The houses in the lower meadow - each roof a different color - and the clock tower peeking upwards from the its forest surroundings are all visible, as is the cliff that houses the Weyr Caverns themselves. And yet, the ridge also holds an amazing view of the night sky - horizon to horizon - unaffected by the light pollution of the more heavily traveled regions.
Settled upon the ridge is a rather distinctive looking building - nearing three stories tall, circular grey walls have carefully been erected, and a large dome is settled upon this solid foundation. Large panels make up the roof, aside from one section which remains open, and from which the telescope the struction houses peeks out. Sitting adjacent to the tower is a long, low building, meant to serve as offices, record rooms and dorms for those who man the observatory, as well as providing a handy platform for those who seek to use smaller, hand-held 'scopes.
Darsce pretends she's juuust fiiiiiine, but she's trying not to hyperventilate, really. She heard Jethaniel's quiet apology, but she needs to breathe before replying. That doesn't happen until they're outside in the open air of the path leading back down to the meadow. Then she offers to take the basket back because, arm please! Around her shoulders. "It's not your fault," she says earnestly. "I just, ew." So that was the former Weyrleader's quarters! She might've known. She's never made it a secret that she disliked the man. But, hm. There was that frowny-look from Jethaniel at the rugs. "You've been in there?" she asks curiously with a thumb-gesture at the weyr over her shoulder. "Was it… bad or something?" All she knows is the previous Weyrleader was wounded during the round up and never returned to work after medical leave, then her brother was made acting Weyrleader. She was good with that and asked no questions.
Jethaniel does not speak further until they're outside. It is apparent to him that Darsce is not fine, but he does appreciate her attempts to remove herself from the problematic situation. He gives her the basket when she reaches for it, and puts his arm around her in accordance with her suggestion, fingertips trailing lightly against her upper arm. He lowers his head at her question. "Yes," he answers to his prior presence there, his fingers ceasing his motion and simply resting there, curved against her. He frowns. "It was…" He pauses to consider it, then answers a more general question instead. "He and I had many points of disagreement. He was not a pleasant man." Particularly not to Jethaniel.
Darsce is better now that she's outside. She just won't thiiiiiiiink about it! To Jethaniel's 'many points of disagreement' she snorts, "No surprise there," and smirks. "I can't imagine two more opposite people." She takes the basket, snuggles under his arm and her breathing is slowing down. "He wasn't pleasant," she says, but then to others she isn't always pleasant either. Still, "I'm so glad he's gone." Keep your dalliances in check, my foot! They're near the top of the meadow ridge and they haven't yet eaten, so she asks, "Are you up to sitting on the grass? I brought lunch."
"I suppose not," Jethaniel says to Darsce's comment concerning that difference. His voice is a quiet one, his head angled downward slightly and his gaze looking out over the meadow and Weyr. "He was possessed of a distinct vision." One with many aspects, including a perspective on the dalliances of his weyrstaff which did not conform to reality. Jethaniel, as his arm tightens around Darsce, appears to be the one victorious in at least that aspect of his conflict with A'dmar. He gazes out across Xanadu, expression thoughtful, then looks back to Darsce at her question. "I will need help in rising." Which she is capable of providing, if willing. His lips quirk, and he adds, "Possibly also in sitting down." But once he's there, he can remain stationary with moderate success. It's just the state transitions which present problems.
Darsce turns her head to look at Jethaniel when she hears the tone of voice. Concerned for him, "Did he?" She tries to imagine it. "Were they good ones?" She sounds doubtful, but she didn't deal with him much. "He seemed controlling to me. And arrogant." She continues to keep her head tilted up, watching that thoughtful expression of his that is cast out over the meadow and weyr. "What is it?" she asks quietly. To helping him, she merely nods; she'll be glad to. And she turns them the other way to walk the short distance upwards where the grass grows tall, thick and soft at the point of the ridge and some distance from the observatory. The view is splendid here. There's a flat-sided boulder he can lean against and a small, twisted tree to provide shade. She sets the basket down and offers both hands to him, bracing her feet. Going down?
Jethaniel nods in serious confirmation, but then the corners of his mouth curve ever so slightly upward. "Occasionally." Not often. There were many points of disagreement, but Jethaniel will not characterize the former Weyrleader as entirely lacking in good ideas. Only mostly so. As for Darsce's characterizations of the man? "He was." But Jethaniel… ah, he will agree to those statements, but they are not the ones he would make. His head lowers further at her query, until he is regarding the path that led them here rather than the Weyr beyond. "I also possess a tendency toward visions." Including the means for constructing them, which is not always entirely flexible… and in which Jethaniel often believes himself to be correct, despite arguments to the contrary. He keeps his arm around Darsce as they walk toward the picnic spot she selects, nodding to it before taking her hands and carefully lowering himself to the ground. He's better at moving than he was even a few weeks ago. It's still awkward, but fortunately Darsce is the only one here to see.
Of A'dmar Darsce is curious, mostly because Jethaniel thinks they were good ones, she asks, "What were they?" She has not a clue. She wasn't headwoman at the time and thus, not privy to the administration side of things. She only saw one side of the man. Everyone has their own perspectives. What statements would he then make? She focuses primarily on Jethaniel's explanation of his thoughts, interested even if she doesn't quite understand. She turns to look out over the panorama, several emotions flicker across her face: longing to understand, to see… something more than cottages and dragons basking, purpose maybe. "Like… what?" she asks. "Can you tell me?" She helps him down, then eases into his lap, carefully. Not, perhaps the easiest way for him to eat, but then, Darsce has forethought this; she pulls the basket closer. And flips the lid to remove a chilled bottle of white wine from a coolpack. It has been uncorked and then re-corked halfway for ease of re-opening. "I didn't bring glasses," she notes with tip of her chin and a twinkle of mischief. "Do you mind sipping from the same bottle?" How…unlike her! But there's no one to see but Jethaniel.
"I can attempt it," Jethaniel says of telling Darsce, but first, he will attempt to seat himself - and, with her assistance, succeed. He takes a deep breath as he settles himself, making an adjustment to the position of his leg and ankle. Darsce she settles into his lap, and he puts his arms around her, then lowers his head to touch his lips to her shoulder before lifting it sufficiently to look at her. Her omission in packing - and the consequence thereof - makes him smile. "I do not mind." A bottle that has touched Darsce's lips will also touch his; this merely adds another element to an already present chain of connection. Having established their positions, both physically and regarding certain of the elements of this meal, Jethaniel returns to an explanation of other positions, previously held. "A'dmar had a desire for efficacy. He… perceived many things as distractions from that aim." A faint smile, wry. "Including myself. He was disinclined to delegate matters he did not fully comprehend."
Jethaniel's arms wrap around her; she has no objection whatsoever and leans against him readily. No one is all bad, Darsce knows this. Efficacy? "So A'dmar's… intentions were noble but his vision was clouded by…his personal perceptions? He took affront to things he thought undermined his authority? And had trust issues?" She's unsure she's got that correctly says the crinkle of brows as she grapples with her understanding and her own impressions of the man in question. As for the wine… the lips that will touch that bottle will also touch his at some point so Darsce isn't worried; she smiles back. Without taking her eyes off of his, she removes the cork with her teeth takes a slow sip of the wine before offering the bottle over to him. "What about your visions?" she prompts again. Meanwhile, she'll reach into that basket and draw out food - fancily made but able to be casually eaten: finger sized morsels meant to be fed-to. Her fingers offer a treat to his mouth - a pastry-wrapped bit of tenderloin. Hmmm. Where did she get this?
Jethaniel nods to Darsce's assessment. "I believe so, yes. Among other things, he saw my appointment as a challenge to that authority." Or so Jethaniel now sees it, and that view has shaped his retrospective view of the man. As for those other issues… "I am not aware of anyone he trusted." Not to any appreciable extent, at least. Jethaniel takes the bottle from Darsce, his other arm remaining around her as he lifts it to take a sip. His lips curve in a smile for Darsce's prompt as he lowers the wine. "Some are technical. I would like to see things more efficient. There are various improvements to be made." Which he could explain, but Darsce might find it easier to flip through one of his notebooks. "However… not all solutions are technical. There are… problems of distribution. Educational systems which imperfectly address the requirements of mobile families. Resource and memetic constraints which result in unbalanced potentials for personal growth. They are… situations in which there are possibilities for action, given sufficient influence, but also the possibility of aggravating problems. It requires a certain arrogance to even consider." He lowers his head slightly, and while doing so, parts his lips to take the morsel Darsce offers him. He does not inquire as to the source.
Darsce quirks a questioning look while shrugging her ignorance about Jethaniel's appointment. Care to fill her in? As for trusting, she quips, "Did anyone?" She's skeptical. Her view of the man is, perhaps, discolored by her own encounters which were certainly not positive ones. She pulls that basket a bit closer, so he may reach and select something if he'd like. In there are various pastry-wrapped things, tiny bite-sized tarts, with both savory and sweet filling, crispy-fried this and that's, curiously-carved carrots and radishes that resemble flowers. Pretty food. Still tasty though! Should Darsce flip through his notebook she might find it easier to understand. Easier is not always better though; she'd rather listen to Jethaniel. She gets some of it, other parts…not so much. "Memetic constraints…whut now?" But he's intrigued her. And so while she's fishing in that basket for the next thing to feed to him, she asks casually, "If you have ideas for improvement, why don't you present them?" Isn't that how weyrstaff works? But wait. He's considering them. Does this make him arrogant? Darsce looks confused. "Wasn't A'dmar arrogant?" She can't see the correlation between the two of them. In her fingers she has a cherry tomato. She places it in her lips but she doesn't eat it herself. Instead, eyes merry, she leans forward and offers it to him that way.
"It can be a difficult thing to assess," Jethaniel says of trust and whether people have it. His own view of A'dmar was… somewhat complicated, and he does not consider himself to understand the other man - simply to no longer have any great impetus to attempt it. He reaches for the basket, though his intent to obtain an item for consumption is delayed by Darsce's own investigations there, and his fingers instead trail along her arm as she selects a bite. "People do not act rationally. What they believe… limits them; worse, it causes them to limit others." Memetic constraints. "The source of an idea is highly relevant to how it is assessed." He is weyrstaff, and - "I do present them. When they are sufficiently developed, and I have both implementation strategies and risks understood such that I am confident it is worth the outlay." Risks, rewards, and costs. "A'dmar was." Arrogant. "So am I. I presume to assess the situations of others and propose solutions. To hire in fields where I lack knowledge. To know what people want." His fingers reach to brush softly against her hand, touching the band of the ring he gave her - made without consulting her - and Jethaniel smiles, with both pride and a certain wry self-awareness, as he leans his head toward hers and that tomato offered by her lips. "And," he breathes before taking it, "I am often correct."
Darsce's eyes slide away and her singular nod of agreement concurs: trust is something she's still learning to do. "Perhaps, when one is hurt badly, so is the ability to trust," she murmurs of herself, understanding something - once again, far too late. Well, if she ever sees the man in Ierne she'll try to be nicer. As for the current Weyrleader… that may not work, but it certainly won't hurt. At the touch of fingers, she turns her head and lifts her eyes to Jethaniel's face; she was listening, but pays attention more closely, thoughtful of recent events. Yes, there is all around them with the not rational, with the limiting - of self and of others. Her thoughts trouble her - of D'had; of Ka'el; of Marel. Those must be the ones he'd meant where not all solutions are technical. She's not sure, though, that arrogance is the word with which to describe what Jethaniel does and she half frowns at his self-label, "Sometimes it takes someone outside of the situation, someone who does not stand to make personal gain from a resolution to do the assessment and propose a solution," she says finally, her gaze earnest. "Someone with a clarity not clouded by emotions or blinded by feeling their power is being challenged." She places the tomato, leans forward and her lips touch his as the tomato is exchanged. She remains close, smiling into his eyes. Of course he's often correct! "You research patiently, present calmly." Others, herself included, not so much. No, she just rushes to act impulsively, then regrets at leisure!
The retrospective view can be an informative one. It is, however, flawed in that the data so obtained cannot be used to alter the events so observed, merely as an input on fewer actions. Regret is simultaneously useful as a tool for personal development and potentially a trap of indefinite concern… but Jethaniel does not seek to avoid it entirely, nor to distract Darsce. If regrets are not examined, how can future situations be improved? So - if she chooses to so consider - he will not change the topic, but he will have her within the circumference of his arms as she does. He nods to her determination regarding trust, and tilts his head toward her frown. If she objects, he will listen. If he does not hear objections, how can he improve his analysis? Jethaniel does not consider himself to have the perfect answers, merely to be more capable than many of constructing high-quality ones. A better - and less negative - term might be confidence, but Jethaniel… "I am not uninvolved, though I attempt impartiality." And is likely the person most aware of when he fails to achieve that goal. The retrospective view so informs him; he is the person most capable of seeing his own ideals. There's the brush of lips, and Jethaniel obtains not only a small fruit but also a smile that lingers as he eats. He does not provide any counter-argument to Darsce's claims, but perhaps that's because his mouth is busy. So is his hand, first with brushing against her shoulder, then with reaching for that basket to find a fluted egg-tart to offer her.
Darsce doesn't learn that way. She tends to learn from the examples around her - the misfortunes or achievements of others. She learns from her own successes, but unfortunately she seems to learn best from her mistakes. It's a flawed schematic, but it's all she knows. She never had anyone like Jethaniel in her life; perhaps she will learn a new method of input. She says nothing of the past at this time; her thoughts are more to the present. "Well, you are involved," she amends with another smile and a glance down to the ring he'd touched. "But you don't have to have your way so badly as… others seem to. You don't press. You aren't… overbearing. Or harsh." Okay so a more succinct way to put it would be confident; Darsce would agree to that label. He may disagree with how she sees him if he wishes and she, in turn will listen. "I trust your judgment," says she and then opens her mouth for that tart, lips closing around his fingers, tongue tickling the tips of his fingers playfully before she draws back releasing them. And because she does, she says, "I'd like you to chose where we live. Surprise me." A brow twitches, her iceblue eyes sparkle with the challenge put to him. There - he can put his confidence to work!
Darsce would listen, but Jethaniel does not substantively disagree with her. "I do not have to… in most cases." Perhaps that is a disagreement, but only a minor one. A clause to specify that not all circumstances are alike - and when Jethaniel does insist on something, the reason for that insistence is not simply because it is his decision, but due to some external factor he perceives - and will, usually, attempt to explain. The rest? He agrees to without further clarification, inclining his head to her in a nod. Her trust for him makes him smile, but it is an expression not without a more serious aspect. There is a depth to that trust; a belief in him that would lead Darsce to place things into his hands. He believes, in his confidence, that he is worthy of that trust - but he is nevertheless conscious of its weight. The touch of Darsce's lips and tongue to his fingers is a light one, but Jethaniel is also quite conscious of it. His eyes focus on hers, and he inhales as her tongue teases - then exhales as her lips draw away, his fingers curling down around themselves. The backs of them brush against her chin, and then Jethaniel slowly lowers his hand as Darsce makes her request of him, expresses that desire to place things within his hands. For a moment, Jethaniel considers, though his hand is not still as he does so. The fingers uncurl, and he traces gently down along her side. "If you wish," he ultimately decides, and smiles as his hand splays forward across her stomach. "If, however, the surprise is not satisfactory, you will inform me." He does not have to have his own way, and he leans forward enough to brush his lips to her cheek, near the corner of her mouth. "My decision is not final." Not until Darsce approves - but he'll present her a potential solution, ready for her approval or the application of constructive feedback.
Darsce doesn't mind Jethaniel disagreeing with her opinions - most of the time. She has been at odds with him once and yet, as he says, he is usually correct. There are indeed, as she so recently found out, times when he does have to have his way. She's still learning about him and thus she smiles, "In most cases then." He's still reasonably persuasive rather than overbearing and that is something that in the end, helps her to listen. Trust is a weighty thing, and Darsce doesn't give hers lightly. Or to very many people. Right now she can count on two fingers - not the ones she licked, but her own - the people she trusts. Perhaps with time… She chews that tart she's been fed while Jethaniel is making his deliberations to her request, her nod of agreement pauses so he may kiss her and then she swallows and follows agreement with, "Alright, I'll let you know. Promise." She leans to offer her lips - sans tomato this time - and murmurs a low-voiced against his, "You know what I like." She's… still talking about dwellings? Maaaybe.
Most of the time, Jethaniel is quite willing to follow Darsce's opinions, with or without stating his own. There are times when he feels it necessary to express his opinion, but even in many of those, he is willing - once his justifications have been explained - to compromise or accede to her wishes. The times when he is determined to have his way… have, thus far in his interaction with Darsce, been singular. One time; it was important. He also finds their choice of home important - which is why he'll use his best approximations of Darsce's desires in selecting it, and requires that she improve his algorithm if he nevertheless fails. The requirement is a serious one, gaze earnest despite his smile, and the curvature grows as she answers him with an assent. That given, Jethaniel nods; he will make a selection. His knowledge of Darsce's preferences will be one of the primary inputs to that selection. Her knowledge of that knowledge is expressed, and Jethaniel smiles as he murmurs back, "I endeavor to." There is a plausible case to be made that he is also talking about dwellings. They have, after all, just spent time in the assessment thereof. This - or, more particularly, the fact that he has paid attention to Darsce's observations on those dwellings - constitutes such an endeavor in the architectural space. This entirely plausible case is not supported by the fact that he closes his eyes, nor that his lips press to Darsce's with a slow, lingering touch. Another theory may be required.
Darsce hungers to know Jethaniel's opinions almost as greatly as she does to be kissed by him. Perhaps she'll develop the knack of drawing his desires forth. She's in no particular hurry to end that kiss, her eyes drift shut and her one free arm curls around his neck, settling herself more closely into him. Only when they need to breathe does she come up for air, with a light laugh to say, "Other than me and your stars, I don't know what you want in our home," she says. Because all day he hasn't really indicated that. Or has she been so distracted by the different stressors of location that she's failed to see- she probably has. She has seen his workbench. And knows he will need a place - hopefully not in their bedroom? - for it. So she adds her own requirement to his, "I want you to choose a place that has features you also desire. You can do anything you wish to modify it with your… techcraft-ery." If it's not a word it should be.
Certain of Jethaniel's desires are expressed in the way he kisses Darsce, but the others… perhaps she will develop techniques for encouraging him to express them. He will, at least, make the attempt for her. First, however, he will enjoy this kiss and the proximity of Darsce which accompanies it, his arm curving around her more securely as she presses in against him. As their lips part, he takes in that breath, but continues to hold her close against him for as long as she is so inclined. He smiles for her laughter, though her words bring a bemused expression to his face. "Ah." Has he neglected to state such? Somewhat, yes. He has been more concerned with satisfying Darsce's desires, and his own have tended toward the practical. However, given that requirement, he nods. "I shall," he says without protest. It is an assent to indulging his own desires and the urge for technical modifications both, though… after a moment's further consideration, he laughs. "It is somewhat strange to consider that I will be remaining there. I… have not lived so long as at Xanadu anywhere since I was an apprentice." He is used to making do with whatever quarters he is assigned, because they will not last.
Darsce is ALL about encouraging Jethaniel. Always has been. Though her end goals (most of them) have changed and multiplied. She remains close within that circle of his arms - it's her favorite place to be. Without taking her eyes off of him as he talks, she reaches for that wine bottle, freeing his other hand and places it against the face of that rock. As they thirst, they can reach for it. Right now? She wants both of his hands occupied with her. She hmms, Jethaniel's comment enlightening her to the fact that he's never really had a place of his own. Neither has she, but neither has she shifted hither and yon from apprentice dorms to postings. She's lived with her family in Ierne, then here with Halimeda. That's it. So she says with an earnestness she hopes he will consider, "Perhaps we could build something of our own making?" Well, technically it will be owned by Xanadu Weyr, right? But they'd hold lease rights? Something like that?
Jethaniel yields the wine bottle to Darsce, his hand lifting from it to go around her even before she's placed the bottle away to its new resting place. He is quite glad to have her resting place be here against him. His fingers trail upward until they brush against her hair, gently tracing those silver-blonde tresses as he smiles and his grey eyes linger on hers. Is it any wonder he sleeps beneath familiar stars, when his life has been a half-turn or a turn here and there at whatever hold required his services? Ah, but he's remained at Xanadu five turns now, spending the seasons in a place until they become familiar to him. His reasons for doing so have been, on occasion, complicated, but at present, Darsce is all the reason (and encouragement) he needs; the rest are simply adjunct facts. His fingers pause at her suggestion, his gaze a thoughtful one. "We could." Technically, it'd be applying for a Weyr structure to be built, with a rider including a request for occupancy upon completion - but it's a simple enough procedure that it's done regularly by people who aren't also one of the signatures of approval on the process. "It would be a significant project. The work schedules tend to be… imprecise." There aren't that many other projects scheduled this summer. The work on the hatching sands is necessarily paused for a broody queen and - due to its staging - will not fully occupy the qualified construction workers. The expansion of the ready room mostly involves the minecraft in the early stages. There are other things, but… "It might be feasible."
This particular sense of familiarity, of being 'home' is a strong need of the human psyche. It may not be strictly logical, but it is essential nonetheless as a place of self-definition, security and most essentially, a place to belong. It's oft not so much a 'where' as a 'who': who you are in that place, who shares it with you and who you allow inside. A place for the heart to settle, take root, grow and blossom. Darsce has never really 'settled' anywhere since she was eight turns old, consequently her room has always just been a place to crash between running. Now, however, her concept is shifting. Perhaps it's been slowly changing since Jethaniel's injury led to them spending their evenings and nights together and she'd found her room to be less… lonely, less cage-like. Perhaps it was the tone in his comment when he'd said it would seem strange to be remaining in one place. She listens to Jethaniel, her hand free once that wine has been settled, lifts to make a lazy tracery of his jaw. While he speaks of feasibility, inside her there's the stirring of something, hope perhaps and it shows in the way her iceblue eyes light up in a way they haven't the whole time they've been cottage-shopping. "I think I would like that very much if we could plan a place to suit ourselves. Somewhere no one else has ever lived. A place of our own with only our memories to build." A place to begin. Possessive much Darsce?
According to aphorism, home is where the heart is. The truth of the matter is, as is so often true, somewhat more complex, but the aphorism is nevertheless useful as an insight into psychology so long as an awareness of its limitations is maintained. For turns, Jethaniel's room has been a place defined by his stars, variable in other aspects and yet after his injury, he found himself in a place that lacked them but still welcomed him - or, more precisely, to which Darsce welcomed him. His resting place is with his arms around her; the other aspects may vary. He speaks of defining those aspects for themselves, and what he sees in Darsce's eyes is not simply the abstract approval she has displayed for various architectural features over the course of the day, but actual desire. Given a knowledge of what Darsce likes, Jethaniel was willing to attempt to perform constraint satisfaction on the available cottages to find something suitable. Given a knowledge of what she wants… there is a warming to his gaze as he listens, and when she finishes speaking, he leans in to touch his lips to hers before withdrawing them sufficiently to speak. "We can do so." The feasibility thereof will be arranged; Jethaniel is both capable of working logistics and motivated. "It might not be ready in time." For the wedding, that is. "I am willing to wait." If Darsce will be happy with that.
Darsce returns Jethaniel's kiss, a touch bemused. What did she say to merit that? But she doesn't ask because he's speaking and she is pleased - very pleased and she says so with her actions instead of her words. Her smile is radiant, both arms are flung around his neck and she tugs, her attempt to topple them both over sideways into that tall, soft grass with a giggle. "I can wait forever if I have to," she says touching her nose to his, "as long as I'm with you." The tree shades them, the wine is just behind in the cooling shade of that rock, the basket is within reach. She will demonstrate just how pleased she is waiting while the fluffy clouds drift lazily by overhead to witness her feeding Jethaniel fancy fingerfoods, sipping wine and making plans with him about their home.
Jethaniel has already stated that his interactions with Darsce do not directly derive from merit; the kiss may serve to reinforce that statement. His smile answers hers, and as she tugs them sideways his arms tighten around her rather than seeking to prevent the motion. He will assuredly need her aid in order to rise, but he laughs as they fall. It is, given her smile, an obvious response. "I do not expect you will have to wait that long," he replies, his smile amused and his eyes still bright from laughter as he reaches up to brush her hair back from her cheek. "I will, however, be with you." Forever, or as close an approximation thereof as he is capable of providing. His fingertips trail around the curve of Darsce's ear, his eyes on her. The clouds may - if so anthropomorphized - observe them. Jethaniel will not watch them back, because his attention will remain on Darsce, to offer her morsels and discuss with her what they both desire in that home.