Siebith’s Weyrbarn
The space over all is well lacking in decor. There's the standard kitchenette, table and chairs, couch and that sharding other table and well.. that's about it other than the ladder like stairs that lead to a curtained off loft over the human sized living portion. There is however, a feminine touch found in a vase of flowers on the table.
Morning comes unfortunately, for those folks who indulge (or were poisoned) and it is a sad thing. And so it is for Thea. From the couch she stirs, not awake yet, turning from her back to her side with a moan.
D'had is not what one would call a morning person. Not until he's actually up at least. Thankfully perhaps that part of his morning is already over. The getting up part. Off to the side, in the kitchenette area of the weyr, a pot of klah is heating, the scent spreading through the room.
Thea's hand reaches out, as if to pat the space beside her; the hand touches nothing but empty space. When her eyes flicker open, her lashes are wet. Light. It hits her eyes the moment she opens them and she squinches them shut. She attempts to burrow into that blanket she's curled up in, burying her face in it. Then she sniffs. The scent tells her immediately that it is not one of hers. "What the?" She freezes, but for the moment stays right where she is with her head burrowed under it.
Sound and movement bring the attention of both Siebith and D'had. The blue sending a quiet whuffle of noise in the direction of the couch while rider simply turns a glance over his shoulder and sets to filling a second mug of klah. "Mornin' sunshine," he comments, amusement hanging in his voice. Hey, he's nursed quite a few hangovers, he's got an idea of how that goes.
There's a voice in her weyr. A male voice. This should not be. At least not since Enkavir accepted Search. Not even when Seryth rose the last time. From the blanket one hand emerges to flip the corner back and it's a mussed-haired Thea who lifts a head to peer out with eyes a-squint towards the voice. Ohhhh that was a mistake. Back down flops her head with a groan. Recognition of that amused voice is slow, but sure. "What are you doin-" It comes thickly and she swallows before finishing, "in my weyr, D'had?"
D'had chuckles as he rounds the dining table to set one of those mugs on the lower one in front of the couch where it's in easy reach should she wish to pick it up. "Could ask ya the same thing," he replies himself staying just outside of easy reach as he takes a long drink from the mug remaining in hand.
Thea is utterly still for a long moment. One eye cracks open to peer up at him, then she opens both to rove the room while keeping her head perfectly still. It's a brief look - all she can take of letting light to reach her eyes before she shuts them again. His amusement is not lost on her, but lashing out at him does not even seem to occur to her. Or if it does, she wisely refrains to keep her movements at a minimum. Instead, both hands come up to grip her head. Patiently, "What am I doing in your weyr then?" She's at a loss just yet, her mind coming to the only muddled conclusion it can. "Did I hit my head on that sailboat?"
"One too many cupcakes if memory serves," D'had replies. Ask him that tomorrow and he might not have remembered. He's still being careful on his range, though he does nod towards the mug he's left for her. "It'll help."
Thea's eyes are closed again, so she misses the nod towards the mug, "Cupcakes." Stated flatly as memory is searched. Then, "Cupcakes!" This comes out in a growl, and she's wincing immediately afterwards. Might be partly due to that headache, might be partly due to the sudden realization as to why exactly she has that headache. "Shards." It's softly muttered with her voice as full of dismay as he's ever heard from her, likely. She draws a steadying breath, "What will help?"
D'had nods towards the mug on the table once again, before he swallows and removes the one in hand from his lips. "Drink," he notes again, picking up the other to hold it out for her. "Klah, it'll help." At least it does him.
Thea's eyes open to peer at him once more and there's that mug he's holding out to her. She lifts her head, snaking her bare arm from under that blanket to take it when a thought occurs to her. The expression on her face? Priceless from where D'had is sitting. Her? Not so much. That arm pauses mid-reach as she lifts that blanket a tiny bit with the other hand to peek underneath there. There is visible relief on her face at what she sees. If tears sparkle in her eyes as she looks back to take that mug it's just from her headache. Yeah.
D'had tries his best not to let a smirk creep to his lips. When she's taken the mug from him, he's sliding down to take a seat beside her. "Everythin' alright?" he inquires.
Thea's fingers curl 'round that handle, her eyes fixed upon the mug resolutely as the Weyrsecond moves to sit beside her on the floor. For a moment she seems at a loss as to how she's going to drink it while lying down then she shifts to raise up on one elbow, sloshing the klah as she does so. There's a nod, then a wince and a tiny headshake no to answer him and she busies herself obediently sipping as told to do. Her peek down at him is half-veiled through lashes. "Last night after those cupcakes, was I..?"
D'had turns a glance upwards towards her. "You were… very sweet," he replies having taken a second in the middle of the answer to consider the words. A smirk flashes her direction with it as well.
Very sweet. Why do those words and that smirk cause Thea to flush red? "Was I?" A gulp follows that question along with a narrow-eyed look at him. "How sweet are we talkin' about?" There's another glance down at herself. Yes, she still has that sundress on. The wheels turn slowly, "I was… drunk, wasn't I?" Because if she feels like this… She sips her klah thoughtfully. "How'd we end up here anyway?"
"Lets just say it took all I had ta keep ya like that," D'had replies with a glance that can only mean that 'like that' means clothed. If there's a leer in that glance its not his fault either. "Carried ya," he adds in response to the last question of hers. Drunk, yes, that should be clear enough on its own without him needed to confirm.
Thea's mouth hangs open just a bit at that, her face flushing still more if possible. Her mouth shuts with a little snap as she shoots him another veiled look, this one of consternation. D'had of all people keeping her in her clothes? This revelation seems to confound her more than her, er… sweet(?) behavior. She quails as he says he carried her here. "Ah… did anyone see this carrying about?" Oh yes. Drunk. It goes without saying. That mug is lifted, drained with a wince for the heat as she hastily swallows.
D'had hmmms, "Well its not easy gettin outta the office without it, goin' through the caverns an all…" Okay, so maybe he made a mistake there? "There was one guy you was talkin to though.." Now if he could only remember the name.
Thea groans again, but whether it is from her pounding head or this revelation, is unclear. "Wonderful." She shifts off of her elbow lying back down, stretches her arm to place her empty mug on that low table, barely making the edge with the mug half on, half off. Her eyes are closed again as she's doing that, so she lets go when she hears the thunk of it contacting the table. Both hands lift to her head, fingers trying to apply pressure to her skull. Someone she was talking to? Wince. "I don't remember that." So not surprising. "Did I say anything stupid?"
D'had watches her hand as she stretches out to place the mug back on the table and as such he gives it that little push more that it requires to be certain of it staying put. "Hey now," he starts, leaving his own klah on the table as he turns to rest a hand on her shoulder in hopes of reassuring. "Sure nothin ya said was that bad…." Right?
Thea muttermutters to herself, "Sure I didn't." Oh she's so -not- reassured by that. "I mean, if staying in my clothes was hard? I -know- I didn't control my mouth." Yes, because she has always had a hard time with that. "I feel, ugh! Whyon Pern do you people -do- this to yourselves on purpose?"
"Different reasons," D'had replies with a shrug, perhaps avoiding giving his own reasoning on it. But then, they've been over that before. Right? "Was that… that dragonhealer," he adds, after a second of trying, and giving up on, remembering the name. "Don't beat yourself up everyone's been drunk once in their life."
Thea misses that shrug since her eyes are still diligently shutting out any glimmer of light. She caught the tone of his voice and yes, she remembers. “Rhetorical question.” Thea’s nodding as she says it. Mistake, that. She winces, pressing her fingers harder into her head. Dragonhealer. That takes a moment to sink in. Oh, but when it does? Her eyes fly open wide, “Not Sigam?!” That is wailed in something akin to horror before her eyes squeeze shut. No light – please! “Can never show my face out there again.” Cringe. Beat herself up? Oh, no. The weyrfolk will be doing just fine without her help.
D'had chuckles, his voice still low, quiet. He knows the hangover stage far too well to do otherwise. "Can stay here long as ya like," he replies, offering up one of his partial smiles.
Thea didn't really expect that answer. Her eyes still open, though shaded by her lashes, may show it as she peeks at him. She doesn't comment on that, but she does relax with a long breath out. After a few moments her hands release her head; the pressure she's applying isn't helping anyway. She reaches one hand to him with a soft, "Thanks."
"No problem," comes D'had's easy reply. "Hungry?" he then inquires, if only for lack of any other ideas to break what would otherwise more than likely be an awkward silence. "Can't say I have much, but can always send for somethin' from the kitchens."
Thea withdraws her hand, pushes to sit up, keeping that blanket cuddled about her, sending him a look of faint disbelief, "Seriously? You eat after waking up like this?" She shakes her head slightly, "Thanks no. But water would great." She shifts to sit sideways, curling her legs and tucking her feet under her. "You need to eat, go ahead. And… don't let me keep you from-" A hand waves in the general direction of the Weyr. Yeah, not going out there. "Just tell 'em I transferred out to High Reaches in the night."
"Once in awhile," D'had admits. "Depends how yer feelin'. Sometimes eatin' helps, sometimes it don't." Also depends on the person a bit too after all. He moves to stand from where he sits on the floor, snatching up the mug Thea had earlier discarded on the table to take both it and his own back to the kitchenette in search of a glass of water which is soon enough returned with. "I tell 'em that and what're ya gonna do when ya are ready ta leave?" Because seriously he's not expecting her to be happy with staying here very long.
Thea reaches with both hands for that glass with a quiet "Thanks." She doesn't answer his question right away. Instead she lifts the glass, swallows several times before lowering it. He's standing there so she leans her head back against the back of the couch to see him, "Uh…" So intelligent her answer. "Haven't thought that far yet?" She pats the couch beside her, "Have any bright ideas?"
D'had does take up that seat beside her when it's offered. "Personally, I think you're thinkin' bout all this too hard sweets. Some of 'em might give ya a hard time for a bit, but shards, I seem ta remember you givin me a hard time bout it once or twice." Maybe? Okay, so he's rather hoping that's true at the moment so as to prove his point.
Thea turns her head from where it's resting on the back of the couch as he sits, "Think-" She snorts softly at that, "Trust me, I've been through this twice after being proddy. Being the Weyr's entertainment is just not my thing, you know?" Her eyes open fully at his next words, and it's a laugh of disbelief as she's reaching a hand to poke at his side, "I never!"
D'had chuckles, "Well, wouldn'ta put it past ya if ya did," he comments. "Really though, only gonna bother ya if ya let it." Which apparently he doesn't let it.
Thea's poke draws no response. Fail on her part. Must have no strength today. She blinks at his comment, hurt showing on her face, "D'had. Is that fair? I walked you home, put things to help your morning better, tried to help your headache…" She can't go on. Instead, she turns her head away, her voice cool, "So I'm too serious and being drunk and amusing everyone shouldn't bother me?"
"Hey now," D'had starts, reaching a hand to catch a finger under her chin, pulling gently in hopes of getting her to look back his way. "Don't you think I don't know what people say about me. Iffin I was you prolly be more worried bout that then people makin' a stink bout getting drunk once." Yeah, probably not helping his particular case just there, but he can't be expected to think of everything at once.
Thea allows him to turn her face back towards him and she's listening. Wait, what? Other people saying about him. That sinks in. "You mean your reputation? And me being here with you?" She attempts to make sure she's got what he's saying as she searches his eyes.
D'had chuckles, though there's not quite as much amusement in the sound as other times. "Ya catch on quick babe," he replies, letting his hand drop down to give her thigh a light pat before retreating back to his own lap.
"I don't care what they think about that!" It comes out passionately. Thea waves one hand to include the whole Weyr, "I don't give a flip what they think or say about that!" She's leaning forward to see his eyes better, hers trying to say how much she means that, "Not one of them- and tell me if I'm wrong- has ever tried to get to know the D'had I know."
That was certainly not the reaction he was expecting from that remark. That much is clear from the look he turns back on the goldrider. "See, now that don't make a lick of sense," D'had replies followed by a shake of his head.
"Why is that?" Perhaps not the response Thea thought he'd have for her either, she's looking at him with a baffled expression, "Doesn't make sense that I feel that way? About you? About them? Why?" Full of questions, but her eyes are also telling him that his answers are important as she waits.
"Jus' don't," D'had replies, still on the confused side of things as he tries to sort out how to say it. "Worried bout 'em seein' ya relaxed, but not bout 'em seein' ya spent the night here…" Somehow he didn't think she'd would have stayed this long when he woke up to find her still asleep on the couch.
"D'had. You know I was more than relaxed. And…I don't much like being laughed at." Ah yes, the needler doesn't, does she? She has the most curious expression on her face, "I don't so much mind what others think and say when I know they are wrong. It's when they are right that it gets to me." She is silent for a moment, trying to sort it out so he will understand, reaching a hand to touch one of his, "But they are wrong about you."
"Are they?" D'had inquires, his tone taking on a more serious air it so often lacks. "And yeah, maybe a bit more, but drunk.. well that don't mean anyone's gonna give ya as hard a time as you are bout that."
Thea looks down at her hand with a blink and then withdraws it - again. "They are wrong when they talk amongst themselves, judge you and assume they can know the whys of your choices, yes." She is silent after he says his last, "Alright, fine. I'll leave." She pushes herself up from the couch, shrugging out of that blanket, which she drops on the couch. "You don't want me here and I think-" She doesn't finish, just starts blindly towards the door, mussed hair, rumpled dress not giving her pause. Her voice wobbles as she adds, "Won't be in today, they want me, I'll be in my weyr."
'No, no, no, no!' The words that want to tumble from his lips don't come, though he does stand up a bit too quickly after Thea to be coincidence or simply seeing her out. "Didn't say that," he comments, voice grating towards gruff. "Don't have ta leave, said you could stay as long as ya like and I meant it."
Thea doesn't turn around, but she does stop. "I don't know what you mean anymore, you-" She chokes on the words before she can finish. It takes her a few tries to finish. Finally, "You run hot one minute, cold the next and I don't think I can-" She swallows. "Nevermind."
See now that has him curious if nothing more. "Can what?" D'had presses. Not exactly gentle in his tone, but neither is it very demanding, rather lingering in that grey area around uncertainty.
Thea turns back, "Can live with the… uncertainty of this… this… I don't know what to call it." She says it humbly, meeting his eyes, allowing him to see the pain, the confusion and the longing that is there. "Just please be one or the other so I can… deal. Please." She bites her lower lip to stop the tremble there, but resolutely faces him to hear what he has to say.
D'had simply stands there for a moment. But that look… that's not something he's able to look away from. Rather he steps forward, closing the space between them to curl arms around her. "Sugar," he replies only after that moment of movement passes and a few seconds more. "Don't you do that to me."
Thea's arms slide around the Weyrsecond after a brief hesitation, She leans her head forward to rest her forehead on his shoulder. "I- I'm not sure what you mean." Her voice sounds so confused, "I'm afraid I'm not very good at reading minds." "Please, won't you just be straight with me?"
D'had rests a cheek against her head when she leans in. "Ain't so good at that either," he replies with a touch of a laugh. "Just hate ta see you get hurt," he continues after a moment. Perhaps not exactly what he meant.
Thea doesn't say a word. She just lifts her head, looking the man straight in the eye. "I think it's far too late for that." Her arms drop, "I won't push you. I told you I wasn't asking for anything. And I'm not." She attempts to take a step back, "But I can't take this. You seem to want me close, then you push me away." She gives a small headshake of disbelief. "Stay as long as I want? If I were to do that, you'd never be rid of me. But… I won't assume you'd want that, see?" So lots of words for a man of few words to have to hear. "I'll, I'll see you around I guess." She backs away as she says it.
So many things he wants to do, so many he could say, and yet none of it actually comes to being. He could stop her, but no, when there's the sense that she's trying to step back he gives her the room to do so, reluctantly. "Trying not to mess things up and I did anyway, huh," D'had comments more than he questions the idea. "I'll resign if it'll help," he goes on to offer. A pause follows, and then hesitantly he adds in a whisper, "Tailea might have been the first.. but.." "Around," the Weyrsecond agrees, the word holding an uneasy heaviness.
Thea has been patient. She's trying to continue being patient. "Not mess up what things?" Her backwards movement stops. His comment about Tailea being 'the first but' has her stepping back towards him a few steps, "But what?" She breathes.
"If you need ta go, go," D'had replies. He's not going to make her stay if she doesn't want to. "Just … " There's a long pause as he searches for the words, or rather the word he's looking for. "Know I care."
Thea's face pales at the evasion. "All right." She whispers it through white lips. Didn't she just say she would stay? More pushing away. All right. She has her answer. She turns and flees for the door at a run, flings it open. The sunlight hits her eyes and she cries out in pain, clapping both hands over her eyes and falls to her knees.
D'had cringes, and not just internally, at that dash to leave. Its the sound that follows that brings him to move from where he stands, rushing to her side, though once there' its stiffly that he reaches out to touch her shoulder. "T-Th.." he stutters still missing the end try as he might. "Let me take you home at least?"
Thea just shrugs the hand away, "Seryth will help me get there." She's choking down sobs as she says it, pushing to her feet at the same time. Her eyes are closed tightly against the light. "Don't resign. I'll deal." She pushes herself to her feet, stands for a moment, her back straightens and her head lifts. She inhales deeply and walks towards the forest, guided by the queen's mind and strength rather than her own eyes. Her heart? Not so much.
Come the next day there's a note on Thea's desk. Unsigned, the words scrawled in a girlish handwriting.
There's one sad truth in life I've found
While journeying east and west -
The only folks we really wound
Are those we love the best.
We flatter those we scarcely know,
We please the fleeting guest,
And deal full many a thoughtless blow
To those who love us best.
~ Ella Wheeler Wilcox