Re: How Not to Relax - Vignette

He could tell she wasn’t okay. He knew that much. It was what to do about it that he never could get right. But women, he’d learned, always seemed to want to ‘talk’ about things. Wasn’t any harm I pretending to listen.

Pretending to listen turned into actual listening though and surprisingly, he didn’t really mind. She smiled, small as it might have been, but it was a smile and then a laugh. Real laughter. It might have been at him, but it didn’t matter anymore. But then he did it again, put his foot in his mouth. Tried for charming and ended up wrecked. There was something about her. He never could flirt with her the way he did with so many other women. Don’t get it wrong, he’d tried but it never sounded right. Maybe it was the fact that she didn’t mind. She didn’t swoon into his arms and she didn’t get angry. She just dealt.

She’d tackled him. It wasn’t until later that that little fact sank in. Sure, he wasn’t expecting it, but that wasn’t the point anymore. The point was that she’d smiled. She wasn’t just being a junior weyrwoman, wearing the mask of the job, she was being herself. If only for a moment. He’d ruined that one too. Him and his ‘perks’ of the job. Him and his shoddy memory.

Tailea. He hadn’t heard that name in turns, hadn’t used it in longer until then. Why then!? She’d noticed too. She was too bright not to. He’d have been kidding himself if he’d thought she’d over look it. Even so she’d kissed back. She had been so in love with this other guy. This records keeper that he couldn’t stand if only because he wasn’t good enough for her. He’d left her and that wasn’t fair. That he still didn’t understand. But she’d kissed back!

She was too good for him too. Too good for the reputation he had at least. But he cared for her. Really cared. Maybe that’s why things never came out the way they should. Because with her things weren’t the same as with all those other girls. She was right though, she’d always been a friend even with his flaws. It was something to think about, scratch his head over.

The rest of that conversation was the hardest. He didn’t know what to say. He tried, but it wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t know what else to say and so those words spilled out, filling the space he’d left blank. He couldn’t take it back now. He really did care about her. She’d smiled again, it wasn’t the one he wanted, but she’d tried and then she walked away.

He was left sitting on the beach. Alone. Again. Dark eyes stared out over the water in the blackness of night crept over the waves, the sand, and him. He sighed, dropping his face to rest his forehead on his knees.

Those eyes. Icy green. That smile. So warm. Long locks of hair framed her face in his mind. Blonde and brown mixing. Two faces in one. A smile and laughter just for him. Was it wrong of him to want that? Was it some cruel joke? Or a second chance….

The tide was changing… a dark wave raced up the shore line, washing over his feet and dashing the image from his head. He needed to sleep… He needed a drink.

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