Longing to Belong

Yokohama - Hydroponics Bay

The first thing that one might notice upon stepping into the hydroponics bay is that it was in fact, not always used for this purpose. In truth this area was once home to a much larger portion of the ship responsible for the cryogenic storage of seeds, plants, and animals from Terra. Some of these did not survive the trip, others were found to be unadaptable to Pern's harsher environment. As if to give this sad testimonial a measure of hope, most of the old cryogenic equipment here has been removed, whether it was simply dismantled for research, or melted down for its precious steel and in its place has taken root a truly amazing sight.
Everywhere there is warm life giving green. Nothing is planted here that can't be pruned without killing the main body, insuring that nothing biological manages to work its way into the ship's electrical and causes unnecessary extra work for the crew. Whole sections have been dedicated to various plants by species, including trees, vast beds of flowers, herbs, and even patches for fruits and vegetables. A watering system installed over these sections allowing a light mist or spray as programmed for each plants individual needs. What moisture is not used or is created by the plants leeches away into specially designed receptacles that repurifies them through a filter either for redistribution here or elsewhere as needed.
Not only do these green growing thing provide supplements to the crew's diet, but also precious oxygen. The air in this space is crisp, clean and absolutely clear of any impurities, which is a great source of delight for those living aboard ship. Regardless of the cold steel that peeks through the foliage and present at the feet, this place is a favorite among the crew and many members can be found here for an off duty stroll.

It's sometime in the evening, at least that's what the clocks say, and a good of time as any to settle in and relax with a purloined book. Okay, it's on loan. Keziah has found a nice little nook near the herbs and has set a chair there and is currently reading about ancient Earth critters.

Just when she was starting to settle into the group, Briana has spent the day exploring on her own or hanging out in the kitchens. That distraction has led her down to the hydroponics bay, carrying a shallow box which she sets on a counter. She looks down on the piece of paper in her hands and the ingredients she needs to find before raising her gaze up to take in the Hydroponics bay. Life growing out here in the darkness of space.

Keziah glances up from her book as Briana comes in. Seeing the box and then the paper she arches a brow "Kitchen duty?" she asks with a grin "Whats on the meal plan?" Kezi's all for fresh food an all. Even more so if it tastes good.

Briana starts as she hears the voice and looks to the source of it. She looks startled at first but finally does recover and looks down to the list in her hands. "Not officially, but I mean…well they have such an interesting kitchen and I am in the Bakecraft, I asked if I could help out…" She says before looking up to the woman. "Some vegetable pastries with herbs." She explains finally.

Keziah mmms softly and licks her lips "Sounds good." she murmurs "And well, here's the herb part." she notes as she makes a sweeping motion "Best smelling place on the whole ship. And since I'm stuck up here in case there are anymore emergency departures before scheduled departure I might as well find some comfort."
Briana looks around the room and nods, "Definately such a wide variety. It makes me want to stay up here longer and try out some of the ones I had not seen before." She says as she moves to the rows, looking for how they are arranged, though occasionally she glances to Keziah as if she wishes to ask her something but the words never come out, instead she just focuses on the name tags on the various plants.

Keziah watches Briana with some amusement "We're not gonna lose ya to the Yokohama now are we? We've had that happen a few times. Still, it's always a choice, so there ain't nothin' wrong with it and all." she notes though the look on her face says they're nuts for wantin' to stay here. "Myself, I'll be glad to get my feet back down on the ground. There ain't nothin in the books here that I can't access downthere if I was of a mind too. Now, if they actually had some of the critters and such. I might have to change my mind, but alas, no such luck.

At the question, Briana looks around for a moment, "It is rather tempting, though I think I have more to learn in even a regular kitchen before I come to learn all the fancy gadgets in their kitchen." She responds before glancing to Keziah, "Though..I wonder if its a better place for me." She sighs a little, "I just don't know where I belong anymore. Not sure the candidates will want me around after this morning."

Keziah is silent for a moment, a concerned look on her face "What happened this morning?" she asks quietly "If you don't mind me asking." She closes the book and sets it into a bag that she brought it in so it stays safe. "And sometimes there's some groups that just don't integrate well, but it's only a little bit longer until the hatching, I think I heard the dragonhealers saying only a couple more sevendays. But you can always withdraw. But since it's so close, I'd say stick it out."

Briana looks to Keziah with that worry upon her features. "Someone made a comment about the voice in the lift was a renegade being punished for being a renegade…" She starts with a sigh and looks down at the herbs in front of her, "I defended them…I mean they are not all bad. Most there just …don't fit in in weyrs and stuff. It can be like a weyr…we got people who do regular jobs just like here." She starts but sharply glances to Keziah at the admission of her words. "I don't belong there and now I am not sure I belong at the weyr…I just don't know where I belong."

Keziah blinks a moment "Voice in the lift?" she asks after she gives herself a shake. "You sure someone wasn't just messing with the comm system? Someone's head will roll." she mutters a moment and then she's quiet and thoughful. "Well. As for renegades, I've not had much with them. Though I've some run-ins and such and well. I'm just glad to still be here, alive and in one piece. But there are some that are born into the place. Some leave. We've riders whose family are renegades." She gives a little shudder at a memory. "But then there are those that chose to stay." She's silent again for a moment "And I know that there are some there because, well, as you said they don't feel like they belong and are pushed out of places. Still, most are given a trial and such. But for many there is usually a reason for punishment. Sometimes though, you just have to figure yourself out first, for anyone else can figure you out. If you're a circle, trying to fit into a triangle, it ain't gonna work. But, if you think you're a triangle, even though you're a circle, it's not going to work. Sometimes it's by accident we discover we're a circle and slip right into place, sometimes were pushed and some never figure it out. Find out who you are. Then worry about whether you fit or not."

"The one that tells what floor you are on." Briana explains about the voice before listening to Keziah speak on her experience. There is a little nod, "I know they ain't all good…they just ain't all bad either." She says though there is a glance to the long scar on her arm. "Sorta why my Ma let me leave…to get away from the bad folk cause of my age. She is just a woodworker, she just never felt right in the weyrs she said. Never really explained why. My Da…I mean…I know he is a scary man, but he treated us kids well and protected us." She sighs and it is clear she is caught well between both words and the knowledge of that many are bad, but it was her life. They were people she grew up with. At the mention of others being impressed she nods, "Yeah, Uncle Delenn and Ryski…I suppose I should take heart in that they did it, so can I." Given her skin tone she is probably not a blood niece of the men. The analogies of the circle and triangle draw a thoughtful look to the girl's face. "I feel like I have to prove I am a circle even if I am one."

Keziah tilts her head a bit "So you're familiar with the two of them too, eh?" she can't help but smile. "Just look at their father and look at them. What you come from doesn't have to be all that you are." She hmms thoughfully "I'd say someone was messing with the comm system and to pay the others no mind. They're trying to sppok ya and anyone they can. Still if you feel you have to prove you're a circle, than you're provin' to the wrong people. Yeah, there are some jerks there and all, but iffen ya don't Impress, ya can come cook fer me. I won't judge ya from what you've come from. Just remember, it's who you are now that matters. A Dragon will know too. And iffen there is no dragon in this one, don't dispair. Took Alosynth awhile before she came out." There's a pause "And she apologized fo rbeing late too."

"Yeah, they took me to Xanadu with them when I was a little kid but had to send me back when they got searched. I suppose those early memories set into me wanting to live at a weyr. Then our camp got raided when I was a bit older and we were taken to Ista. I remember worrying how they would treat me and me brothers, but they treated us good even if we had a guard, but he was a nice guy as well. I just…I..love my family and the friends I had at the caverns, but I always felt safest at the weyrs. When I got hurt…well Ma said it was time I had to make the choice, or turn out like her." She explains of her choice to leave the renegades camp, her voice low and quiet. Perhaps it is because Keziah is a rider that she has felt safe confiding in the woman, or it was just all just threatening to roll over the wall and Keziah was their when it did. The comments about having to prove herself causes her to smile a bit, "Thats more or less what me Da said." She says in a whisper before listening about the woman's own tale. "Thats amazing…I don't know if these eggs like me…so many seem to be challenging me."

Keziah chuckles "Don't let the eggs scare ya. Just think how they must feel in there. Their world is so small, and then they get these touches in their heads like you get in yours. Only difference is, you have a wealth of experiances to draw upon. They have so little." She smiles softly "Your Da seems like a wise man. However, if you feel safest in a Weyr, then that is where you belong. Make a place for yourself so that you are comfortable. In the end, all you have is yourself." A pause "Well, unless you have a dragon, but they are still an extension of yourself."

"Yeah we talked about it one night in the barracks…but maybe they are not challenging me, but picking up my own fears. I try to be brave with them and not be afraid. I think of dragons as these big majestic protective creatures and I suppose well even they started out as babies once." Briana says as she looks to Keziah, she looks a fair bit more relaxed now then she did when she walked in. "He can be. I know he is a bad man too, but he always treated me good and my brothers too. I feel divided when I think of him. He says he won't visit me if I become a rider, but he wished me well all the same." She says as she looks back to the plants and picks out a couple sprigs of herbs.

Keziah nods softly "Well that's his comfort level. Think about it. He'd be out of his element here, and if there's a price on his head, in danger too. Though as a rider, you'll have to watch your ties as well. You might not be able to visit either. You're life could possibly be forfeit depending on the camp." she notes softly "It is a sacrfice. Not always an easy one, but in general the dragon will bolster your choices." she smiles softly "There is nothing wrong with being afraid. You have to acknowledge the fear and then live with it. Anyone who tells you that being afraid is for wusses is a fool. It is fear that makes us stronger. FOr without fear, we cannot conquer it and grow into ourselves."

Briana nods to the first words, from the look on her face it is clear it is one of the thoughts she had been battling with. Will impression lock her away from her family forever. That was the life she knew, but she knew the weyrs as well. As much as she loved her family, noone ever attacked her at the weyrs. "I was feeling like I belonged before he said what he said…and then I felt in the middle again. I suppose I need to find my way back." She smiles a touch as she looks to Keziah, "Thank you…I wasn't planning to talk to anyone, but …I suppose I needed to." She says.

Keziah tilts her head a little "We are all finding our way." she notes softly "Nothing says you can't send letters though, and nothin' says you all can't meet in a middle ground if you deem it safe enough. For you, for your family, and if luck is with you. For your dragon. If you need an ear again, mine's always ready for you. It's all part of being search and rescue.' she adds a little tongue in cheek.

"Yeah, especially since I have a firelizard now and Ma has one too." Briana says with a nod as she leans over to pick out another sprig of herb. "I will miss them, but Da was right. I never really belonged there and he don't consider me a 'rennie' so I shouldn't either." She cants her head to Keziah, "Suppose I should stop hiding from the others…Aqueepoli and Pyriel both looked shocked, but haven't seen them since." She says as she tries to take a deep breath to strengthen her resolve. "I hear there is a crafter wing…so I could still be a cook even if I got impressed?"

Keziah laughs and nods "THere is indeed, and I certainly am all for having more cooks around." she notes. Keziah loves her food. "And well, give them the benefit of the doubt as well. You never know. You may just fit right in with them me dear. You just have to let yourself."

"I suppose I have been worrying so much about not fitting in I haven't let myself try." Briana says with a nod as she picks out a few more herbs, gathering them together to set in the carry box in different compartments. She looks to the rider again and smiles, "Thanks again for listening to me…" She says before heading to the lift once more, definately more settled looking then when she arrived.

Keziah gives a little nod "Anytime. It's a big change and all. And candidacy has a way of makin ya look more at yerself than you might have otherwise. And even more so with weyrlinghood. Ya can do it. But if ya need me, I'll be around. Go spend time with yer mates and all. Lot of good people there." A pause "Even if some don't know it yet."

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