Aunties Gone Wild
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Xanadu Weyr – Caverns

A massive cavern in it's own right, this one has been skillfully adapted for human habitation. The high ceilings have been painted a light, soft ivory, as are the walls where numerous tapestries hang to provide brilliant color and insulation from the stone. The floor has been left in its natural state, pale pink granite speckled through with glittering mica and dark flecks of basalt, leveled carefully but kept sufficiently rough to avoid slips.
The cavern itself is loosely divided into areas, each one set up to be suitable for some segment of the Weyr's population. The most frequently occupied area, however, is the one near the Kitchens where tables of varying sizes provide a place to sit down and eat or chat and a buffet of consumables is almost always kept stocked. Its plain that on most days, this area wouldn't accommodate anywhere near the full population of the Weyr and equally plain that on such occasions when a formal meal is laid out, tables are appropriated from all the other areas.
A big fireplace is set into the wall near the Kitchens as well, several comfortable chairs nearby providing haunts for elderly residents or riders who like a good view of all that happens. Rugs cover the floor in strategic spots, all of them abstract or geometric in design and most in the softly neutral colors of undyed wool.
Exits lead off in all directions, a big archway the largest and that leading outside. Shallow stairs to the west lead to the offices and administration area while tunnels to the east lead to the infirmary, kitchen and resident's quarters. Southwards, a sloping tunnel leads down to the hot springs.


Stupid punishments. Supid Weyrlinghood. Stupid V'dim. Grump, grump, sulk goes the young brownriding weyrling as he stalks into the caverns. He's dressed in his nice clothes, shined boots, dark trousers, white button down shirt. He drew the line at a tie though, and has his sleeves cuffed above his elbows. Formal casual? Stepping into the cavern he looks around to see just how formal this evening is going to be.

Wait wait. Escorting aunties actually means … escorting aunties? What does V'dim mean he has to dress the part? Why won't trousers do? Or even denim? …. Is this etiquette all over again?! Ka'el has sufficed with (ugh) black pants and a button up dress shirt. Nothing too fancy, but not quite his regular attire either. Even Kanekith had questions about what he was up to, not that Ka'el was too forthcoming with details (not that he had to be. Dragonlink and all!) He trudges in steps after Mur'dah and pokes the younger teen on the back of his shoulder. "You're lookin' nice. Hopin' to score a date with one of the younger ones? Say, around sixty turns?" he teases. He's got to have some fun during this! Else…well. Die of embarassment?

Whut formal? No one informed Verma and Nonna they were supposed to dress up! And so the two totter towards the caverns unsuspectingly, each clad in loose duster-type dresses because welp, at their age, comfort is where it's at, baby! Just, y'know, ignore those pendulous triceps that waggle when they lift an arm to wavel at their cronies, cos they can't see 'em!

Mur'dah snorts, reaching around to try and smack Ka'el. "Someone's got to comfort them when you tell them they're too young for you," he counters, eyes gleaming and a corner of his mouth ticking upward slightly. Then he rolls his eyes. "This is so stupid. I don't know why we have to do-" and he stops speaking when he sees Verma and Nonna. "Dibs on Nonna," he says immediately.

"Right. Y'know I go for older women," replies Ka'el with a dreamy sort of sigh. "Nothin' less than eighty tur-.." Ugh, gag! No, he can't even finish the joke with the thought of wrinkled hands, sagging, fragile, veiny skin. Liverworts! He visibly shudders, trying to push the mental image away! "Nevermind.." Uugh. His brain is still recovering, which could factor in on why Mur'dah's claim to Nonna earns nothing but a blank look for a moment. But then.. Oh! Here they come! "Damn it, Mur'dah.." is grumbled before a bright grin is painted on his face. "Hi…Er. Good evenin', ma'am. Ma'am.." Both are greeted as he prods his hand against Mur'dah's back a little, giving him a gentle helpful push forward. ^^

And here comes Emmla, inching along behind the sprightly pair. The woman's slow progress takes her fifteen minutes just to traverse the clearing. Why's she going so slow? Faranth only knows, but that's how she does everything. The aged woman is feeling each new step with a toe before she shuffles forward to ease her weight down and brings her right foot forward even with her left, repeating the process and always leading with her left. It'll take her some time before she's even escort-able, so they've plenty of time to snag her! "Hello Sweetie," quavers Verma to Ka'el while Nonna titters, then squints past him to focus on Mur'dah. "A welcoming committee," she crows hoarsely. "What did you two do to earn us?" Ohhh, so they've been through this before.

Mur'dah smirks at Ka'el, some amusement in his eyes. Maybe this won't be /too/ bad. Extending his arm towards Nonna, the young man blinks in surprise. "Do? This is not a punishment, it's an honor. You know I can't hear enough about your grandson and his pig breeding farm, Nonna. Where would you like to sit?" Thanks, Grandpa, for all those stupid lessons.

Mur'dah tends to Nonna, and that leaves Ka'el with Verma! Ka'el smiles. Yes, all he can do is smile and try not to make his smile look too 'flirty' as it's been claimed to be, as that'd just be … gross. And he also oes his breath not to breathe too deeply. No, the ladies don't stink. But! … they're elderly. They have that 'old woman smell' about them! He offers his arm to Verma. "S'never a punishment to have the privilege of escorting Xanadu's finest," he says, agreeing with Mur'dah. "Where would you ladies like to sit this evenin'? Someplace near…" The door? "the fire?"

Nonna wasn't born yesterday. Literally. The shrewd old gal will, however, enjoy the male attention whilst she can. The guy geezers her age are always too busy oogling the twenty-somethings. She curls a vein-y hand about Mur'dah's upper arm and chortles. "It's breedin’ season honey! Are you sure you're old enough to hear all about that?" Her fingers squeeze - is she feeing for his bicep? Oh yes. She is! But she plays it cool, sending him a coy look from under paper-thin eyelids devoid of lashes. Verma follows Nonna's lead, taking K'a'el's arm and directs a gummy smile of bliss to the weyrling. Hey - that old lady smell is intoxicating tonight! She and the other aunties are fresh from the hot springs where the healers had them soaking in menthol-infused waters. One kiss of her velvety cheek could soothe your sore throat! "Up near the front," they chorus together. "Checkin' the merchandise is easier from there," adds Nonna.

Mur'dah's eyes flick back to Ka'el briefly, before he smiles down at Nonna. It's a tad strained, but he's maintaining. He came prepared, after all, and if he flexes his bicep beneath her hand well. Coincidence, really. He /has/ muscles now. Doesn't mind showing them off, even to old ladies. Attention is attention, right? "Plenty old," he reassures her, carefully navigating the tables and chairs towards the front. "What merchandice would that be?" he asks, just to keep the conversation going. Though he's afraid of the answer, honestly.

Eheh. Oh yeah. Ka'el forgot about the teeth falling out part of being old. That's … a dashing smile there, Verma. He glances to Mur'dah, eyes widening as he dares question. Are you mad, lad!? "The food, I'm sure….is what she means," he says hastily. "It's imported, isn't it? Some of it…I hear they're servin' an amazing porkchop.." A glance to toothless Verma. "And … tuber mash." Heh.. -.-; He begins to lead her to a table, up near the front as requested.

Remember Mur'dah, you asked! Nonna totters along with the brownling, "I'll tell you allllll about the courtship of pigs then," she promises. But first (no pun intended) she must answer his question. "These," she says archly at the same moment she slips her frail hand from the crook of his elbow and patapats his butt, squeezing a lil’ bit on the last pat. "Mmm, nice," she says archly as she re-claims his arm. Verma behaves herself - she's a lady, dammit! And she's scandalized by Nonna's groping. "Nonna!" she gasps, "What ever would your mother think??" "My mother's dead!” retorts Nonna. “But if she were here, she'd be jealous!" Both of them titter.

Mur'dah blinks. He stops and blinks, looking at Nonna. No one's done that to him before. He's just lost his butt-groping virginity. To /Nonna/. The lad pales a bit and clears his throat, leading her to a chair and then wiggling free of her grasp with a slow breath. "I'll get you food," he mutters, obviously flustered. Diplomatic training didn't prepare him for THIS!

It's a good thing Ka'el wasn't chewing or drinking anything, for it'd be all over the floor right now. And possibly splattered on anyone nearby. He saw that grope! Oh … yes. Marel is going to love this latest story of his! Please, oh please keep the comedic fodder coming, Nonna! He strangles back a snicker, sounding like a choke. COUGHCOUGH! He lifts his free hand and brings his fist to his chest. It's alright, he's alive! He gives Mur'dah A Look. Hey. You called dibs on that one! He's feeling better and better by Mrs. Gummy Verma, who can keep her withered hands to herself. He gives a smug look to his fellow weyrling as he guides his auntie to a seat, indeed pulling out a chair. "That's all right, ma'am. It's likely the most excitement he's had all day. She's done him a service."

"He wants to see real service, he ought to come back to my room after dinner," chimes in Nonna with a suggestive bouncing of sparse grey brows in the wake of Ka'el's assurance after which she twists around to watch Mur'dah depart. Verma sinks regally into the chair Ka'el pulls out for her and purses her wrinkled lips at her seatmate. She disapproves of such vulgarity! "Thank you sweetie," she says primly. And hey, look! Emmla has finally made it to the door, entering the caverns one verrrry slowwwww step at a time. Escort? Anyone?

NOPE. Not it. Mur'dah has his hands (and rear end) full with Nonna. And he gets her a variety of food, mostly of the softer end of the spectrum. Tubers, yes, boiled veggies, some stew that's cooked to a nice, smooth texture. Those sorts of things. And bread. Because everyone needs bread, right? Returning, he sets the plate down in front of her and offers another smile. Recovered, for the moment. "Something to drink?" He doesn't look at Ka'el. No. He'll just murder him in his sleep later.

Shudder! Ooh, the thought, Nonna, is far too much! Even for Ka'el! "I'll be sure he … gets the memo, ma'am," the bronzer can only reply. Mur'dah and Nonna, sittin' in a tree… Ah, his auntie senses are tingling! The newst (and slowest) arrival is noted, and he pauses after taking a step towards the food. "Mur'dah?" said ever so sweetly, "Will you please make a plate for Miss …? " What was her name again? Ah, let's just leave it as Miss! He nods to Verma. "She'll love a helpin' of mashed tubers. And…ah, anything else easy on the..mouth." And off he goes, without waiting for confirmation, to tend to Emmla. "Evenin', Miss. Can I help you to a table?"

Just be glad Nonna hasn't got a green dragon, Ka'el? And Mur'dah? Soft stuff?! But… Nonna has teeth! Only… she forgot them. "Honey pie, after you go fetch mah teef from the tall glass by my bed, you can fill it with the whiskey (they usually give her tea in here) from the bottle beside it and bring it back here. You're a dear!" Emmla, approached by a young man (GASP) propositioning her gets a swat. "I am married!" GLOWER. Ahhh V'dim. This sort of hands-on lesson will be a lasting one. But what, pray, have these young men learned?

Mur'dah has learned to bail, that's what he's learned. Oh, he'll be back eventually, but he zips out to fetch Nonna's teeth with a glee that surely means the task ahead hasn't /quite/ sunk in yet. But he'll be back. Eventually. Promise.

Wait … wait what?! Ka'el is swatted. Beaten! .. Ok, not beaten, but hey, he was just trying to help! "Yes but. I … but! Ma'am! I didn't.. It's not…. it's only dinner!" And a movie? Poor weyrlings. They sure did learn something today. At least, Ka'el did: Keep smug looks to yourself, else share in punishments with crazy old booty grabbing, assaulting, toothless aunties. Lesson. Learned.


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