Mushed
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Xanadu Weyr - Weyrling Beach
With a gentler slope to the water from the main beach and the way it is cut in like a cove, this is the most sheltered spot for bathing. The sand is the same white hue, there are just as many — or perhaps more — scattered shells. From here, one has a beautiful view across the lake, a scene more often tranquil than not.


Can it be? Has spring finally begun to show its merry little head? Snow is beginning to melt and leave behind patches of new green. Things once dormant are beginning to stir. Animals. Insects. It's a very slight change though, but once that Kanekith has quickly noticed, and the beginning of a new season has brought with it a slew of new questions and wonderings. Where does the snow go? When will it return? Does it seem a little warmer now? What are those things overhead? And afoot? Ka'el has been kept incredibly busy the past few days. Kanekith is growing fast, and oiling seems to be done as often as breathing. The two are now found on the beach, with Kanekith's snout near the sand as he watches a small spiderclaw. Ka'el lounges on the sand with a thick history book laid against his thighs.

Spring is indeed out and about, which leaves Idrissa dealing with a very curious Tahryth. The young green is making her way down towards the water, steps a bounding movement until she makes it into the water sending a spray of water up into the air with a happy trill escaping her in the process. Idrissa smirks slightly, though seems amused while she follows along, she has a coat pulled close thanks to the still cool breeze that can be found in the area. She pauses as she watches her dragon, head lifting a bit as Tahryth continues to splash into the water, it takes the young green a few moments to catch sight of Kanekith and a warm crooning is offered. « Hello! »

« Is it for eating? » Kanekith watches the spiderclaw go on about its way … increeeedibly slowly in comparison to his large dragon steps. But he follows it patiently, head still down, eyeing those pinching claws curiously. "It can be," Ka'el replies a bit distractedly as his eyes skim the text. « Shall I try? » A page in the book is turned. "I wouldn't recommend it.." is the murmured answer to that, to which the bronze snorts. « I am not afraid! » He lifts his head up to puff out his chest, proving his fearlessness. To bad Ka'el doesn't even glance at him! "Don't say I didn't warn you.." Tail flicking, Kanekith's head lowers again, and he creeps closer to that spiderclaw, but before he can think about just how to chomp it, his attention is turned by a familiar voice and the sound of splashing. Hrm? He turns his head a little, looing to the water. « Tahryth, » he greets. « You are always wet. » Ka'el pauses as his bronze's attention is pulled away, and he looks over to Tahryth and her rider, lowering his book.

Tahryth doesn't seem to care about this comment on her always being wet. « This is a problem, how? » She questions while making her way out from the water and is soon rolling about in the sandy shore and stretches out there upon her side seeming happy with herself. Idrissa casts a faint glance over to Kanekith and soon catches sight of Ka'el. A slight smile is seen and she waves to him while starting to head on that way after a few moments. "Hey, spring finally got here huh?" Well they have just been talking about is for like /ever/ after all.

Kanekith snorts, head tossing a bit at the reply given by his clutchmate. « I did not say it was a problem. It was only a truth. » And that quickly, the bronze goes from curious to brooding, a too cold breeze an vague mist blowing through the spring day of thoughts. The shift in his dragon's mood has the Ka'el's mouth slightly downturning, and the book he reads is closed fully in favor of looking to his lifemate. A wordless question asked. What's wrong? The answer, dismissive. Ka'el gently sighs but does not press, instead turning his eyes to Idrissa. "A bit overdue, I think," he answers with a grin that's slightly muted. But it's still a grin. "Wanna … sit with me a sec?"

Tahryth tibbits out and lets her head settle between her front paws while her swirling gaze settles on the ones here. « True true » Idrissa smiles as she watches Tahryth before her gaze turns back to Ka'el. "Ya, well I suppose all things come to those who wait. Or something like that." At the question she ponders before a slight nod is seen. "Sure What you reading?" This is questioned while she wanders on over, soon sitting down there upon the sands next to Ka'el, eyeing the book a moment.

The bronze gives his attention back to the spiderclaw, who has gotten *gasp* meters away while he's been distracted! He catches up and continues to trail it like a dog following a scent. Ka'el, amused by his antice, shakes his head before returning his eyes to Idrissa. "That's what they say? Guess I've got to find more patience," he says with a grin that, after a while, turns a bit rueful. He shakes the look away though and peers at the book cover after she questions him. "Oh. Some tome about the history of Pern. … It'd be more exciting to sit an' watch the ice melt, I think." He turns the book over and over in his hands. "How've you been?"

"Yes well, I'm sure the ice melting would be more interesting to watch for sure. One can flick things into the growing puddle after all." Idrissa offers with a slight shrug, her gaze drifts back to Ka'el, a soft smile seen. "I've been alright. Busy with lessons and what not." Like the rest of them. Her fingers tap a bit against her knees. "What about yourself?" Well it's not like they have really been talking all that much recently now have then? Tahryth is up on her paws and soon follows after the bronze and spiderclaw a like. « Mine says they are good to eat, but they can pinch fiercely. »

"Marginally," remarks Ka'el in reply to how interesting snow may be to watch fade away. He soon lets that drop, despite his snicker, and nods to her small report. "Same. These days are all the same, aren't they? Lessons, feeding, oiling. Wash an' repeat. After the incident with the fish nets, I haven't taken him away from the grounds much … though he has gotten better at following directions." Kanekith rumbles proudly at that, still following that spirderclaw. « This one is not for eating. This one is for watching, » he states in a matter of fact way. Ka'el looks over at Idrissa, quiet a moment as he thinks of how to answer her question. He's been a lot of things, lately. "Mushed," he finally says, nodding at the word. "I think that's the best word to use for me. I've been mushed."

Idrissa grins a bit and nods a moment. "Well Tahryth licked Jarse the other day." Yes Ka'el heard that right, her dragon /licked/ Jarse of all people. "Even was talking to him." Tarhyth warbles out. « I thought it would help! » This is sent to both riders and towards the bronze as well. « Luraoth said talking would /help/. » Seems the gold sibling is taking some blame for this. At the talk of the spiderclaw not being for eating the green snorts a moment. « Why would you want to watch it? All it is doing is skittering around in the sand. » She can't seem to understand the reasoning behind this. "Mushed?" Rissa ponders this answer while peering at him. "How does one be 'mushed'?"

Ka'el faintly lifts a brow. "So what I've heard about her is true, is it?" he says, looking over to the green. "She has a secret weapon. The tongue lick of death." He cracks a grin, apparently not too distraught about Jarse's tongue licking. He probably could use a kiss or two. "Hopefully it didn't get you into trouble?" He's not sure how it works now. Weyrlinghood and crafting. His own journeyman has all but disowned him. .. Though it isn't as if he has the time to do anything with smithing anyhow. Now he understands what the blueriding smither meant, some turns ago. "Mushed," he repeats. "It's when you have so many things happening and so many things goin' through your mind and heart that you feel like eventually, you must explode. It's all mushed inside of you, bursting at the seams. And it's got you feeling so turned around and inside out that you don't know which way is up and all you can do is try to take one thing at a time an' hope you're dealin' with it the right way."

Kanekith doesn't answer his clutchmate other than a slight rumble as he continues to watch and follow the pinchy creature.

Idrissa ehs softly and shrugs a moment. "Pretty much She'll lick you to death and talk your eat off." She chuckles now, a soft smile seen once more. "Jarse Is Jarse. His glad to be rid of me it seems." There is a slight pause and her gaze settles on the water. "I've been thinking about leaving the craft. All this with Jarse is just so off putting to want to continue. Though at the same time I know he will be happy if this happens, I don't want him to 'win' so to speak." A glance is offered back to Ka'el, a nod seen. "Ya, I can imagine that isn't easy in the least." Tahryth hrumps and continues to follow along after the bronze, tail slowly snaking back and forth within the air as she goes, and for the moment she is at least quiet.

"Quit?" Ka'el lifts his brows at the word. "You thought about quittin' before, didn't you?" He presses his fingers against the sand, digging them in a bit til the tips are buried. "Second time. Maybe it's somethin' you should do, if it keeps coming up in your mind," he muses, eyes no longer on her. "I've never thought about leavin' the smiths, but … I don't have Jarse on my back like you do. Still though, even if I did, I don't know if I'd want to stop just because of him. I mean, there are some jerkoff journeymen I know of, but they haven't been enough to make me want to call it." Blue eyes turn to her after, fingers digging themselves a little further. "I feel mushed .. with you. My head is everywhere, and I can't seem to get it straight." Kanekith pauses now, his eyes beginning to swirl a new color as he looks back at his rider.

"I'm not sure what I will do now. I don't know what else I could possible do. I've worked with runners all my life, not doing it well, just doesn't sem right." Idrissa offers while she picks at a nail pondering this, it has been something she has thought of for a long time it seems. Her bright gaze drifts upwards to peer curiously at Ka'el while he goes on. "I don't want Jarse to win, but it is starting to feel like an unnecessary thing with him lording his position over me and making me feel unworthy to be there." She pauses not as she is brought up, her hands rests within her lap and she frowns a touch. "Why is it mushed with me?" She isn't sure what wants to know, but well she has to ask. Tahryth picks up a mood change, her head tilting to lok back at the two riders with a soft warble escaping her before she looks to Kanekith.

"You shouldn't just keep at it because you don't want him winning or whatever," advises Ka'el. "That seems like a waste. A waste for you, mostly, as you could be doin' something else instead of wasting your time with a craft you don't want." He pulls his hand from the sand, watching the pale grains fall and resettle. He looks back to her, his expression .. mushed. "Because," he begins, but then pauses. There are a lot of words to say. Many of them wrong. Some too fast. He tries finding the right ones that correctly portray how he feels, but that is turning out to be impossible. "I feel like … there are a lot of things I want. Things with Kanekith. Weyrlinghood. Things with people. And I feel like I'm cutting myself into a thousand pieces to get to them all. But there are times that I forget to give a piece me to you, and I don't realize that til a long time after. I'm sorry." Another pause, and his brows furrow. "You know why I get so mad with J'o?"

"It's not that Ka'el, I've always loved the craft just" What is there to say to this? Jarse has made her miserable to say the least; the thought of going to the stables doesn't always bring up good thoughts. A slight shake of her head is seen while she soon watches him, wondering as he goes on trying to explain things it seems. "All of us have felt the same way Ka'el." Have they? "The dragon's take up all of our time, hard to think about other things and so forth." This is what he means, right? When J'o is brought up she blinks while watching him. "No, I don't Why do you get so mad at him?"

Ok. Reasons other than he's a flit brained shardin' idiot. Be calm and serious, Ka'el. He takes in a slow breath which is released through the nose. Kanekith has wandered closer now, his mind and eyes set on Ka'el. There is something .. off. Wrong, almost. A feeling of discontent. It isn't exactly alarming, but it does show cause for concern from the bronze. "Because there are times … brief, random, fleetin' times, where I sometimes think that … someone like him," Someone LIKE him, not him, let that be noted! "might be a better .. fit for you than me." His nose wrinkles for a second. That was acid on the tongue, but he continues on, speaking bluntly now. "I don't like this, Idrissa. This thing we've got. You, me, and Sori? At first, I felt bad about it. I never should've asked her out while I was dating you. But I was stupid, and fourt- .. fifteen? and I thought the rules here were different and I could be different too. And then I got used to it. I got used to feelin' guilty kissing her and then kissing you the next day. But a person shouldn't get used to doing the wrong thing, you know?"

Idrissa just watches Ka'el for a few moments as everything is well put on the table so to speak. She's quiet and her gaze lowers to eye the sands quietly. "Funny I never thought anyone was better fit for me then you." She offers quietly as her hands folds within her lap, her shoulders lowering while her mind runs rampet for a few moments. There is a low warble of worry coming from Tahryth as the green is moving forward towards her rider, head lowering to push against her shoulder. It takes a few moments before she lifts a hand to rest it against that dragon nose. "You never told me that you felt guilty about it Ka'el." Funny how things come out way after the fact. "You think it's wrong now, or did you think it was wrong then as well?" She's actually calm as she speaks, attempting to keep her thoughts in check it would seem with her dragon hovering so close.

"You're right. I never told you," Ka'el agrees, watching her. "And I should've. I should've told the both've you, but I didn't. I can't change that, but I am tellin' you now. I don't know if it's 'wrong' for everyone," he admits. "But I do feel that it's wrong for me. I probably knew it back then too, but …" He smirks a bit. "I had two girlfriends who were all right with it all. I'd've been an idiot to complain." His smirk fades now as he falls back into the present, feeling dragon eyes on him. Human eyes on him. "I told you that if somethin' keeps coming up in your mind, it's probably something you should do. It's probably the right thing to do. And this has come to my mind more than I've realized. I haven't treated you fairly, Idrissa. I haven't treated you equally, either. And I knew I haven't been, but I haven't done anything to fix it. That was wrong of me, and I'm sorry for that too. Before everything, you've been my friend, and if you can forgive me sometime…I want to still be your friend. But it isn't right for me to keep dating you when my…my efforts are on someone else."

Idrissa is't sure what to say now that Ka'el has said the rest. Her eyes close and she bites her lip. She should have know, should have figured this out. "This is why you told me not to wait for you if you impressed and I didn't?" She finally questions. "You could have just told me then Ka'el, save some heartache on us both." If there is one thing Ka'el and Soriana should know by now is that she really doesn't like being lied to. "You don't want to be my boyfriend but you want to be my friend? Gee, I should feel lucky I suppose that you'd even want that with so much going on in your life right now." Tahryth closes her eyes, another little warble escaping her as she attempts to reach her rider, which for the moment Rissa isn't being very forthcoming. It takes her a few moments, a few long moments of fear and a ill feeling in her stomach before she opens back up to her dragon quickly. "You've always had a thing for Soriana, I should have expected it. Even more so now" The whole gold and bronze dragon bit after all. "You never planned on staying with me if I didn't impress did you? Just another untruth in a long line of them."

Wait, what? Things are beginning to spiral out of his control. He's not sure what he was expecting. A serene parting of ways? A hug and promise to be friends forever? He has a vivid imagination if that's the case. Ka'el's brows press as she speaks, and the longer that she does, the more etched his frown becomes. "Aw…c'mon Idrissa. It isn't like that. I didn't plan on…anything. I haven't ever lied about how I've felt about you. I've always liked you. I care for you, I do." He turns so that he can face her fully, and Kanekith shifts his weight on his claws feet, feeling … anxious? Is that what this is? The dragon has the word for it, but the sensation is alien. Something new and unliked. "I just don't think … I just feel that this is … the right thing for me to do. I feel differently for the two of you, and at first I thought I was supposed to. That I shouldn't feel the exact same way. But now I know," or at least he thinks he knows! "that the way I feel about you and the way I feel about her are too different."

Idrissa shakes her head slightly while she glances away from Ka'el as if she can't look at him for the moment. "None of us planned on any of it. Just happened, so I guess this is just happening to then?" A soft breath escapes her, fighting back her feelings, what she really wants to say at the moment. "Must be nice to work this out with yourself and come up with this answer. How did you really expect me to react Ka'el? Just go, 'oh alright, gee thanks for still wanting to be my friend'." Good luck there buck'o. She stands now with Tahryth there at her back, the green's eyes swirl of yellows and reds as she is getting more feedback from her rider it would seem. "I'm glad you were able to figure it out before we said something we would regret saying." Though she means that more for herself then him it would seem at the moment. "How long did Soriana know you were planning this? Because I damn well know you talked about it with her first."

When she stands, Ka'el remains seated, his attention divided between Idrissa and Kanekith. Kanekith, not understanding the sudden onslaught of negative feelings that ricochet through his rider, has grown restless and seems unable to keep still. His weight shifts. His tail whips. His head lowers to Ka'el, then lifts to peer at Idrissa. She is the source of this? These females. Such trouble! "Say what you need to say, Idrissa. I don't have anything left, and I don't .. regret saying it. I regret makin' you feel this way. I regret havin' you mad at me, and I still hope that you forgive me. I don't know what I expected. I just hope I don't lose you…forever." His words sound, briefly, sad and his eyes shift away after. But at the last of what she says he pauses, and for once, a scowl touches his expression, and Kanekith's eyes swirl a very faint shade of crimson within his yellow. "Soriana has nothin' to do with this." Nothing and everything. "Don't blame her, and don't drag her into this. This is you and me, Idrissa. That's it."

Idrissa could honestly never actually stay mad at Soriana, there is going to be some painful thoughts though when seeing her long time friend and knowing that she is with someone she can't be with. As for Kanekith, Tahryth is eyeing the bronze, a faint rumble escaping her but that is all. She watches Ka'el for a few moments as he talks about losing her forever. "You have Soriana. What could you possible need me for?" Is said while she turns and starts to move away heading down the beach, her hands slip into her pockets and Tahryth is quick to follow after her, the greens wings fluttering.

Disbelief writes itself upon Ka'el's face at Idrissa's question, and he blinks once before staring at her in wordless awe. Really? Does she truly believe she's worth nothing to him? He rises to his feet swiftly no, but he doesn't move after her as she departs. Instead, he watches, wondering how something instigated by himself can still sting this much. This is what he wanted… right? Not really. Not entirely. But it was the right thing…wasn't it? Kanekith moves to stand by him, head still lowered so that he can nudge and press his muzzle against Ka'el's shoulder. His arm lifts and curls around it affectionately, though his eyes still follow Idrissa's retreating form. "I'll always need you." It's spoken too softly to carry and be heard, but were they words for Kanekith or Idrissa? Perhaps both, and he can only exhale a breath as the green rider gets further and further away. This had to be the right thing, so .. why does it feel wrong?


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