Long Overdue Visit

Fort Weyr - Th'ero and Velokraeth's Weyr
This weyr is opulent and almost as large as one of the ground weyrs and the ledge outside can easily fit two large dragons. The broad shelf ties in directly to the stairs leading down to the bowl below and over to the administration complex, making it easily accessible from both levels and the other end of the ledge curves around as it meets the stone wall of the Weyr and then turns inwards. Carved and smoothed by time, the covered wallow offers more ample space for the residing dragon and one more should a companion be welcomed in. Sheltered by the worst of the elements, it's a perfect hideaway from winter cold and the slight lip allows for large blackets to be draped over it without sliding downwards.The stone floor is smooth, having been worn down over the Turns. Toward the back of the dragon area, there is a wall with a small entranceway leading into a tiny alcove and nook, where several chests, supplies and pegs to hold the straps rest. Beyond this is a narrow hallway, hidden and secreted from view by a grey hued rug, but allows a secondary and private access to the main living area.

Rain. Fort has been soaked, what with the winter snow storm and now all this rain. The weyr is mud. Nothing but mud and dampness, and it's had to send riders elsewhere for more firewood twice, what with the forests as wet as they are. The Weyrleader's weyr, however, has never lacked for heat and warmth. Dry, too, as Kimmila rests on the couch in loose clothes, her feet up, reading a book propped up against her growing belly. Varmiroth is out in the wallow, the blue watching the rain fall with an artist's gaze, his thoughts altering the landscape in different ways to amuse himself.

Sorry Varmiroth, Ujinath is about to disrupt all that rain! At least his cerulean hide should offer some contrast to the drab skies and muddy ground? He's already announced his presence to the watchdragon on duty and is now coming to land on the Weyrleader's ledge, his task of leaving the twins with Th'ero in another spot completed. Rumbling low in his throat and chest, the young blue will allow his rider to dismount, attempting to shield her with his wings — even though she's already drenched (and grumbling under her breath about it). « Is yours within? » Ujinath's mind reaches to Varmiroth. Either he can see the other blue or can sense him. Regardless, his mind is there and his purpose obvious: Kiena's come to visit! Which may have already been scheduled.

Varmiroth's head lifts higher at the sight of the other blue, and he rumbles a welcome and shifts in the wallow to allow the other room to come within if he wishes. « She is. » Inside, Kimmila sits up, pauses, and then carefully stands to make her way towards the wallow door and pull it open. "Kiena?" A hand rubs over her belly as she smiles. "Good day to come visit," she teases gently, peering past her at the rain still falling.

Ujinath will watch as Kiena steps away to the door and then turn his head to peer at the wallow when Varmiroth shifts to allow room. He cranes his neck forwards, rainwater running over his smooth hide as he sniffs and studies the entrance warily. Then he coughs and snorts. Even with the rain, it reeks like Velokraeth and Varmiroth. Someone else's home. He's never shared a wallow before and least of all with a near-to-strange blue. The damp cold however sucks and so Ujinath slips inside and huddles down as close as he can to the entrance without poking out into the rain. At the door, Kiena's grumbling ceases the moment Kimmila opens it and she smirks crookedly at her brother's weyrmate. "Beats snow and ice?" she drawls back to the teasing and steps inside. No need to let all that toasty warmth go out! Her eyes settle on the roundness of Kimmila's belly and her smirk turns more to a smile. "How've you been? You're looking to be pretty far into it now. No complications?"

Varmiroth sniffs when the other blue does, his rumble a bit…hurt? Do they stink? He sniffs around but can't identify anything worth coughing or snorting about. So he just curls up in the back corner with a soft rumble. Ujinath is welcome, but now Varmiroth is reclusive. They're a couple of party /animals/, clearly. Kimmila closes the door behind Kiena with a chuckle. "Rather have sun and warmth." Especially since she can't go /find/ any. Her hand rubs her belly again as she gestures towards the fireplace. "Please, come in. Can I get you anything? We've got all sorts of drinks, and some snacks. I'm doing alright, considering. No complications yet, no, just…high risk pregnancy and all that."

Ujinath doesn't exactly scream social and a reclusive Varmiroth is fine. For a whole ten minutes before he begins to relax and realize he's… being a bit rude. « Strange, new places unsettle me. » he explains bluntly. Yes, he saw Varmiroth sniffing. « It has nothing to do with you or Velokraeth. Your wallow is comfortable. Big. Mine is not stone like this. » There. He was social! In… a sort of blunt and clipped way. Kiena will carefully slide her jacket off, trying not to drip too much water all over the floor. Hanging it to dry, she'll also squeeze out what parts of her hair are soaked from not being under her hood. "Okay, I'll give you that!" she chuckles about sun and warmth. "Fire is just as good. You guys keep a cozy little nest." she murmurs and then gestures for her to sit instead with an amused half-grin. "I could do for a little of both, but if it's alright by you, you tell me where they are and I'll serve us? Hate to make you bustle about 'n all." Since she recalls being pretty darn miserable in the final months of her pregnancy. "Mhm. They're fond of saying that for twins, huh? Well. If it's any consolation, I didn't even know and I carried to term fine. And you seem to be hanging in there?"

Varmiroth rumbles softly, taking another slow breath. « Why do they? » he asks, quiet and curious. « What is yours if not stone? » He does not remember the non-stone weyrs. Rustling his wings, he uncurls his body a bit and then settles once more. Inside, Kimmila smiles and moves instead to the couch, gesturing towards the kitchenette. "I've got tea, but any food you find in tehre is fine, and help yourself to any of the drinks you find." There's a surprised pause. "You didn't know?" Sitting, she pulls a blanket over her lap and legs. "I'm fine, yes. Still in my second trimester so it's not too bad yet?" Yet.

Ujinath is quiet for the time it takes him to mull over and work out an answer for Varmiroth. « Because I do not know them. The entrances and exits. If I can fit or land or move comfortably and easy. Where mine will be. I like familiarity. » So that if he has to act, he can act FAST and get both himself and his rider out. « Mine is stone on the floor but the walls are made of wood and other materials. Xanadu is not built in stone. » How odd! And Ujinath was unsettled by this wallow? Kiena nods her head and drifts into the kitchenette. "Want me to make you some tea, then? Since I'm here." What's her order? There's the sound of her rummaging about and her laughter. "Nope. Not until I went into labor and… kept going." Lucky her. "I wasn't very cooperative during my examinations. Or there are some dodgy Healers in Western. No clue." She shrugs. "Ahh. Well, good that you're doing fine. You guys start predicting which pairing it'll be?"

Varmiroth gazes around. « The entrance and exit is there. If…why would you need to know that? » Clearly Varmiroth is not as nervous as his current ledgemate - or his rider, who automatically searches for the same things in new places. « It's not? » he asks, prodding his rider's mind for images of Xanadu, which she supplies. « How strange! » "No thank you, I still have some," Kimmila says, lifting her mug. "Shards, that must have been terrifying. Our Healers picked up on it pretty quickly…" Ah. But Kiena was not cooperative. That's not a surprise, and Kimmila snorts with an amused little smile. "Well, we have one boy name and one girl name, so we're hoping for that? Otherwise we'll be in the archives again."

« To keep mine safe. » Ujinath states as if it's the simplest concept ever to understand. He whuffles then when Varmiroth remarks on Xanadu being strange. « Yes. But it is home now. » And he likes it there, despite his constant vigil and wariness that comes and goes. Kiena's laughter drifts again from the kitchenette and follows her out as she comes with a tray laden with snack foods and a mug of cider. Setting the tray down where Kimmila can reach as well, Kiena will then flop back against the couch and stretch out. Ahh, much better! "It was terrifying and yet at the same time I was at my wits end… so I just did as the Healers told me, dredged the last of my strength and…" She spreads her hands. "… got through it." Her grimace says it all. She makes it sound easy, but it was anything but. How long did Kiena have to recover from that?
"Archives? You guys have archived books of names?" KIena is jealous! Sipping at her cider, she'll eye Kimmila curiously, one brow arched up. Well? "Can you share the names or is this a big secret? And I guess this means you guys aren't blending or nothing, huh?" Double jealous. Kiena had no choice in the matter.

Varmiroth looks around again, studying the foreign blue. « Safe from what? » Inside, Kimmila takes some bread to nibble on, tearing it into bits in a habit she's picked up from Th'ero. At least she eats it though, instead of just raining destruction onto the poor morsels of food. "Shards, how terrifying," she says, eying Kiena with a healthy dose of respect. "Well, we…uh." Cough. "We wanted these names to be…sky, space…" gesture upwards, "themed? So we went looking for astronomy books. And no, blending our names doesn't work that well and besides…we want our children to be their own people, not forever labeled as Th'ero and Kimmila's. Let them grow on their own reputations. Aranthi and Elladyr."

Again, Ujinath does not have the answer immediately. When he speaks again, his voice is slow and cautious. « From harm. Any harm. » Cryptic. « Do you not seek the same for yours? » Not judgemental, just curiosity. Kiena doesn't shred or nibble on her food but does pop a few pieces of cheese and fruit into her mouth whole and snorts around the mouthful for Kimmila's reply and respectful look. Swallowing, she'll shrug her shoulders. "What choice did I have? It was either push again or… die or… whatever else they do." Does Pern have the skills for cesarians that don't result in death? "But yeah. It was scary. Exhausting." No, really? Shaking her head, Kiena smirks. Enough of that depressing topic? "Sky and… space? You mean like Stars and Moon 'n all that? That's different and… oh shells, don't tell me you named the poor brats Belior and Timor! I'd… seriously have to have stern talk with both of you!" Seriously! Grinning, her chuckles extend into her next words. "Aranthi and Elladyr? Those are both nice. Good names. Good sounds. Shards, are you ever lucky Kimm to have choice in the matter." Kiena lifts her mug to her lips then, perhaps to hide that her smile is a touch strained.

« Not here. She is safe here, » Varmiroth says, firm but polite. This is /Fort/. What would his rider have to fear in Fort? In her weyr? In /Th'ero's/ weyr? Kimmila winces inside, shaking her head. "Shards I wish men could give birth," she mutters. "Yeah, stars and moon and no of course not! Shells. No. That's bad. No." Then there's a gentle smile and a nod as she rubs her belly. "Thank you. I'm glad you approve of them." Then there's brows arching, and a look at Kiena. "I'm assuming you didn't?" There's a story there, she can tell.

Everything? Anything? Nothing? Ujinath has no answers, only what he's come to accept as his version of personal instinct. « She is safe. » he agrees, not wishing to insult Varmiroth any further than he may already have. She's safe. For now. Inside, Kiena is completely safe and rather relaxed in Kimmila's company. She, unlike her lifemate, can unwind a bit. "What? Why? They'd suck at it. They'd break at the first stage of labor pains. Come on now…" she scoffs with more laughter. "Were you worried I wouldn't?" Blinking, she'll drop her eyes down and lift her mug up again. Evading and a touch awkward but given enough time she'll thaw and spin her little story. "No, I didn't. It'd had to be 'E' as the start for the girls. Guess I could have done what you did and look for 'E' names in books but I stuck to blending. Not much to work with between Kaliena and Zsriston that didn't sound… medicinal or disease like." Lovely. "And all of it done because of the Shipton bloodline being so… vast."

Kimmila shakes her head slowly. "I…didn't think of how you'd think of them," she says honestly. "But I'm glad you like them. You're their aunt after all." Sipping her tea, she frowns a bit. "That's stupid," she concludes, bluntly. "The Shipton bloodline is so vast because the men can't keep it in their pants." Pause. "Sorry. How are you doing about all that? Are the girls yours now, solely?"

Kiena quirks a brow. "I may be their aunt, but they're your kids. You name 'em what you want." she drawls and then grins wryly. "Just not Belior and Timor or… Faranth forbid… Rukbat. Could you imagine? May as well toss Yokohama and Buenos Aires and…whatever the other ship name was in there." She flips a hand like that tidbit of information is unimportant. Bluntness is welcomed and Kiena smirks. "No, no. You're exactly right. L'ton… got around. A lot. Why sugar coat the truth?" Leaning forwards, she'll set her mug down, half finished, beside the tray of food and she shakes her head. "Don't be. Honest. I'm… done with him, Kimmila. I should have been Turns before…" But she learned too late. "I'm fine." Kiena begins and then sighs, folding her arms over her chest. Not so fine. "I'm coping? I feel like it's put strain on my position as Weyrsecond. Zi'on's… whole behaviour is just baffling. On a political side it's… not good? I don't know. And yet what choice is there? I never wanted our personal problems to escalate to this level but it did. Nothing I can do." But she feels guilty for it. "The girls? I'm guessing so. I'd… not feel comfortable sending them to Western Weyr if he's refusing to come to Xanadu. But it's not exactly fair to them either?"

Kimmila snorts, shaking her head. "No. We're not that…lacking in good taste," she teases. Watching her sister in law, she dips her head in a small nod. "I'm glad you're done with him," she says quietly. "He's not nearly good enough for you." As for politics, the bluerider shrugs with a bit of a roll of her eyes. "Nothing you can do, right. This isn't your fault. Do they miss him?"

Kiena grins. "Didn't think you two were." she fires back and her expression slips, eyes lowering and then drifting away to stare at the fire in the hearth. "No, he wasn't. Isn't." And would never be. Politics are always messy and she's only just begun to realize just how tangled things can get if one isn't careful. "Not my fault? Not so sure about that. Nothing to be done of it now though. Done is done." And she's finished and tired of it. "Of course they miss him." Kiena murmurs, giving Kimmila a sidelong look. "They ask about him from time to time. They know it's not time for their visit to Western yet but when it comes and goes… I dunno what to say. Lie? Distract them?"

Kimmila purses her lips a bit. "That's tough. Is he good to them? Is he…someone you want them around? Put aside that he's their birth father for a moment, is he someone you'd want watching your girls?"

Kiena frowns for the questions Kimmila asks of her and she chews at her lower lip, eyes lowered as she considers her answer. Does she have one? She exhales softly, "Of course he's good to them. If there's one thing about Zi'on is that he loves his children." But? Kiena falters and her mouth works soundlessly for a moment. "I… I don't know? When I don't look at him as their father then yes, I don't want them around him. Not how he treats women. Not that I'm saying he's an abuser and rough handling…" She grimaces. "… I don't know, Kimmila."

Kimmila nods, giving Kiena a sympathetic smile. Faranth she's lucky with the two fathers of her children. "Perhaps, then, they still get time with him but you have /more/ time. Time around better influences. They'll figure it out, in the end. It's good for girls to know their father, but…it's also good for them to know what a good man is."

Kiena lifts her eyes long enough to catch Kimmila's sympathetic smile and her cheeks colour a bit. Great. More sympathy! Which… she accepts but always feels so embarrassed about. "Maybe. I may allow some visits." she says softly. Not anytime soon, though. "And it's true… but there are better influences for them. Their foster father for one. And I've let them spend time with a brownrider I know. A very good friend. They adore him." She smiles fondly at this and then seems to give herself a little shake. "Anyways. Enough of me being a downer. How've things been with you?"

Kimmila arches her brows. "A brownrider?" Do telllll.

Kiena gives Kimmila a stubborn look. What? Really? Not going to even answer her question? She sighs and rolls her eyes. "Yeah, a brownrider." she smirks in a sort of smug, 'I'm going to be as stubborn as my brother about it if you're looking for a name'. "Who is a very good friend. One of the few… or only… I'd trust. Especially concerning the girls. He's been very good with them."

Not yet she won't. Kimmila smiles. "Good. I'm glad you have someone like that. I mean, I know friends are hard to come by. They are for me too. So I'm glad you have that. And me…I'm coping. Was surprised to be pregnant again, terrified to have /twins/. But I'm dealing with it. I'm more worried about Th'ero running himself ragged taking care of everything." She knows how he is.

"Good, trustworthy friends, are hard to come by." Kiena points out. "You can easily surround yourself by friends." Maybe she means acquaintances? "Thanks, though. He's… helped me through a lot." When she finally allowed it and still has relapses. "I only hope…" What? Her sentence ends not with words but a chuckle and leaves it to hang unfinished. "Surprised? So this wasn't something you and my brother had planned? Huh. … quite the surprise." Doubly so! She smiles crookedly but her eyes will hold a reassuring look. "I think you'll do fine, Kimmila. Really." She's faced far tougher things, hasn't she? As for Th'ero, Kiena's nodding her head. Oh yeah, she knows her brother well. "He'll run himself ragged, yeah. He doesn't mean to but it's not any of your fault. It's his and his inability to see beyond his sense of loyalty and honour at times. And he loves you. Adores you. Surprised more don't see that." Because she does.

Kimmila tilts her head. "What do you hope for?" Nope, not letting that one go. "Not actively planned. I mean, if it happened, it happened, but. We weren't /trying/. And thanks. That's what I'm worried about. Running himself ragged." There's a pause. "More don't see it?"

Kiena’s mouth quirks into a half-smirk when she realizes Kimmila won’t let it drop. She considers evading the bluerider again but decides against it. She’s not here to start a barbed and cryptic run around with her brother’s weyrmate. “… that I can be as good of a friend as he’s been to me. He’s a good, kind hearted young man and a good rider. He’s been so good with my girls. Even when I…” She falters for a moment and her voice lowers. “… was lost Between times. He stayed with them when I failed to return home, saw them to their foster parents. Helped me when Ujinath and I did return. Supported me all through the mess concerning Zi’on… A lot to ask.” And has she given him enough in return? Kiena smiles faintly. “Ahh, I see. So it’s still happy news? And I’m sure folks see it, Kimmila. Just probably not to the depth that it is.” So does Kiena just assume? Probably. “I wouldn’t worry about Th’ero. Let him run himself ragged.” What?

Kimmila ahhs softly, nodding her head. “I see. He sounds like a very valuable friend. I’m sure you have been though. If you weren’t, he wouldn’t have stuck around as much as he has. People don’t tend to give when they get nothing in return. Not for a long time, anyway.” Sipping her drink, she nods. “It’s good he was there for your girls when you were lost.” She remembers that. How hard that was on Th’ero. “Well, I’m sure you don’t ask,” she teases. Irondells are similar in that respect. “It’s still happy news, yes. I’m glad to give him more children. I’m hoping for at least one girl.” Because Th’ero with a baby girl…too, too cute. “Ah. Well. I really don’t care what people do or don’t see,” she admits with a little shrug and a smile. Then she looks a bit surprised. “What?”

“True,” Kiena agrees and her arms seem to relax from their crossed position over her chest. “And he is. I’d… not wish to lose him as a friend.” she admits. Shifting, she’ll reach to snatch a few more pieces of cheese and fruit, popping them into her mouth as she listens. Something flickers in her eyes though. Lingering guilt? Probably. “How… I mean, I know it’s the past but… did Th’ero ever know? Did you?” she asks softly. “It was kept so quiet in Xanadu.” For obvious reasons. A brow quirks and then she clears her throat. “Well… why would I ask? Or, uh, how for that matter?” Irondells are similar in some aspects! Even if they refuse to admit it. “Heh, I’m sure my brother is just as pleased. And maybe you’ll be lucky and give him two more girls. Or, from a very archaic and backwards Irondell view, truly honor him and birth him two more strong, robust sons as is your duty!” Her words become more heavily accented and slurred with sarcasm as she carries on, displaying both her contempt and dislike of her bloodline’s strict and rather misogynistic outlook. She chuckles. “Good! Who cares what other people think, eh? And you heard me,” Kiena teases gently but her tone soon sobers. “Let him run himself down. It’d be easier than trying to hold him back. You’re only going to stress yourself unnecessarily and if I know my brother he’ll do it anyways but not purposely. So… let him reach his limit, if he even does and he’ll cope with it. Probably by coming to you and going on about how much of a fool he was… etc and so on?”

The bluerider smiles, guessing at the identity of her brownrider now. “Mur’dah had his dragon call us and tell us. So yes, we knew.” Sorry? She assumed he’d have told her he told them. Kimmila chuckles softly. “You say, ‘hey, help me out here?’ I know it’s hard. But some people just love being helpful. It feeds who they are. Let them do that.” Then she snorts, dryly amused for Kiena’s words and her accent. “Riiiight. Because girls are so useless. We’re weak, and simpering, and needy.” /Eyeroll/. Her next words have her thinking, staring into the fireplace. “I suppose,” she murmurs, “but…I hate seeing him run himself down. /Especially/ when it’s because of me. I feel…guilty about it. Responsible.”

Her brownrider? Kiena would have laughed at that. “Ahh…” Her brows knit. Wait, she did know this, didn’t she? Her fingers touch briefly to the side of her head near the temple. “… I must’ve forgot that Mur’dah had Kalsuoth inform you. Sorry.” There was a lot going on in her head at the time. “Did… I’m sorry for any upset it may have caused. I still don’t know how we ended up like that. Suppose we’re lucky in a way that it worked.” Otherwise they’d be dead. Rather grim look, isn’t it? “Heh. Easier said than done, Kimmila. But… I’m trying.” And learning. Slowly. Snickering, she flashes her sister in law a wry smirk. “Don’t forget that we’re dependent on a strong and providing man as husband!” she drawls. Yeah right! Her expression softens again. “You shouldn’t take that guilt on you…” And yet Kiena’s tone is understanding. “… nor are you entirely responsible. He doesn’t have to act like he does. But he does. I don’t know how else to explain it and I gave up a long time ago trying to understand him. Maybe you do? And maybe you’ll have luck talking to him. Have you?”

Kimmila smiles, nodding. No harm done. “It’s fine, Kiena. These things happen. Th’ero was very distraught, but.. No harm done in the end.” Then she laughs. “Oh, right. That too. That’s why I’m with the Weyrleader, right? Clearly I need the /strongest/ man to care for me.” Smirk. Then she shrugs. “Well…I know. But he wouldn’t act that way if I wasn’t in this situation.” Pregnant = ‘situation’. “I’ve tried, but all he does is reassure me that he’s fine, and I shouldn’t worry. He takes on too much.”

Kiena blinks. “These things happen?” she scoffs, but her smile remains in place. “Jays, Kimmila. It was one of the worst experiences in my life! I hope ‘these things just happen’. I’d rather not repeat it.” Or have it happen to anyone else. Some guilt surfaces knowing that Th’ero was so distraught but… she can’t do anything about it now. So why worry? No harm done. She’s alive and that’s all that matters! Laughing for Kimmila’s comeback about needing a strong man, she’ll subside into snickered giggling. “Yeah, that’s exactly it.” she mutters between breaths, teasing one last time. No comment is given on pregnancy equalling a situation. “He wouldn’t? Are you so… certain about that?” Kiena drawls while peering sidelong to Kimmila. She snorts, “Of course he does. Stubborn, prideful, loyal… of course he’s going to take everything on himself. That’s all he knows, Kimm. To him it’s normal. Which is why, as maddening as his stupid answers are, he does think he’s fine. And maybe he is?”

Kimmila shrugs a bit. “WEll…not /often/. BUt it’s done now.” So let it go. Then she gives the other bluerider a curious look. “No…he wouldn’t. If I wasn’t pregnant he wouldn’t have this extra pressure. He wouldn’t have to take care of me, or everything else. I could help more.” She’s helpless, to some extent, and it grates on her. She smirks a little bit, though her eyes are loving. “He is, he is. And I adore him for it. But. He’s…sometimes he learns?” And then forgets. Men. Bah. “I guess I’ll just let him do as he’s going to do. No use trying to talk him out of things because it wouldn’t change things anyway. So as long as I can’t change it…should just let it happen.”

Kiena will let it go. She has the answers and reassurance she needs. “Take… care of you?” she says in a slow and puzzled way. “Why can’t you help?” Blunt and to the point, but she wants to know and is… clueless. Confused, even. Her brows lift. “Sometimes? So he has…” And then forgot. Typical! “I dunno, Kimm. I’d… take that as a good thing. That he actually learned.” Once. She shrugs, “But it can’t hurt either to talk to him? Maybe he will change or try harder if he knows it’s what you want. Loyal, remember?” Her smirk is wry again, if not a touch wicked. “Use that.” Against him.

Kimmila nods. “Yes, take care of me. You know, running errands, getting me things, helping me around the weyr when I’m…” gesture, “huge. And I can help in some things, but not in others? I can’t run to a cothold right now or go with him places, be his partner in things. I’ll be stuck here. Fragile. And grumpy, likely.” Grin. “We’ll see what happens,” she concludes with a small smile. “Maybe it won’t be as bad as I think and then mabe he won’t have to work as hard.” Or maybe it’ll be WORSE. Dun dun dun. “So are you and Mur’dah a thing?”

Kiena whistles softly. “That’s…” So adorable and romantic? Should she be jealous? Zi’on fawned over her in a similar way and she rebuffed it (at the time it made her uncomfortable, being so young and… well, young). Not that it matters, now. He repaid her in the worst of ways. “… I think I see what you mean now. But there has to be something you can do? Something.” How descriptive! She frowns. “Fragile? Do you… expect the pregnancy to be hard or that high risk later?” Is there something she doesn’t know? “Maybe.” Kiena concludes with a warm smile. It’s hard to predict what will happen! Dun dun DUN. Taking her mug back from the table’s surface, she’ll lift it to her lips for a long sip, only to cough and choke a bit. “…what?” Kiena manages between breaths and from the way her cheeks flush it’s a bit condemning “Uh… not really? We’re very good friends. I care about him. We’ve…” she fumbles a bit and shrugs, rubbing at the back of her neck. “… shared a bed before. Flight stuff.” More than that, but Kiena’s not about to open up to all the details. She’s already felt like she’s said too much and abruptly goes quiet, nursing the last of her cider.

Kimmila nods, flushing a bit. “We’ll see what I can do. And the healers said it was high risk…?” There’s a frown. “Isn’t…aren’t I going to be bedridden and miserable?” Then the conversation shifts, and she smiles. “Ah. Well. Good friends are essential.” Awkward? She’s trying not to let it get awkward, but uncertain what else to say about that.

“Healers say that a lot.” Kiena snorts. “Doesn’t mean it’ll happen? I was up and about until close to the end of my time. Granted, I didn’t know but… Shards, I wasn’t going to stay bedridden! I did whatever I wanted, within my limits of strength that day. Didn’t always mean I left the weyr but I made myself busy within it.” Nesting phase? She peers at Kimmila. “… you could be? If you let yourself be.” Or the Healers order her to be. “Mhm.” Is all Kiena says at first concerning friends and then she sighs, running her hand up through her hair and drawing it forwards over her shoulder. “It’s just… that’s all there is to it. Or… I’m really bad at explaining things. He’s a very good friend, Kimm and I do care from him. We’ve shared a lot. I want… I’d really hope we can keep the relationship we have. I just… worry I’ll screw it up. He’s young. I’m… not, really and I’m jaded. I don’t even know if I could give him what he needs if things ever did progress further. Which is unfair to him. He…” Kiena shakes her head. “… deserves better.”

Kimmila nods. “Suppose that’s true. Time will tell.” But the frown she has as she rubs her belly does not bode well for her optimism. Then she’s quiet as the topic shifts. “YOu don’t want more? And…you worry he will?” That’s what she got out of it, anyway. “Better than what?”

Kiena tilts her head and for a moment she looks worried for the way Kimmila frowns and rubs at her belly. “Hey,” she says softly and in a rare gesture between them, will reach out to touch her arm. “It’ll be alright. Seems bad and… imprisoning now but it’ll pass. A day at a time. Do you have any projects you could work on? Anything to distract yourself?” Kiena blinks and then blushes, stammering a bit. “N..no? That’s not…” She takes a steadying breath and scrubs at her face. She’s as bad as Th’ero in explaining matters of the heart or emotions! “… I’d want more. In time. How long, I dunno…? I’m still recovering from Zi’on’s… abuse. I’m broken, Kimm and Mur’dah’s… never had a relationship before.” She’ll let Kimmila read between the lines of that. “How could I be a better choice? I’m broken and jaded, uncertain and spooked on the whole… love… thing.” Kiena tries to explain, gesturing with her hands helplessly.

Kimmila smiles, appreciating the touch. “I need to find some projects. Most of my projects have always been active ones. Traveling, hunting, archery. So. I need to come up with some new projects. And quickly.” Then she’s quiet, listening thoughtfully with a small frown. “Ah. And…what if he finds someone else in that time? Would you be okay with that? I mean…you haven’t asked him to wait for you, have you? First relationships rarely work out…are you sure you want to be his?” Then there’s a small, gentle smile. “We’re all a little broken.”

“Those are good projects,” Kiena admits with a quiet chuckle. As for new projects, she can only shake her head. “There should be something that’ll interest you. That isn’t paperwork.” She wrinkles her nose at this. Ugh! Back to the trickier conversation, Kiena sighs and draining the last of her cider she will set the mug aside and slouch against the couch. “No, I haven’t. And I’ve already let him go to pursue another. That… I don’t think… has turned out?” She admits quietly. Smirking, she nods her head. “We’re all a little broken, yeah. And… do I want to be his what? His first relationship? …no? maybe? I don’t know.”

Kimm nods her head a bit. "We'll see. I think Th'ero has some ideas too." Then she smiles a bit. "Well if you don't. .. He should know that."

Kiena smirks, “He probably does. He’s probably been working them out in his head for months now.” Oh, that brother of hers! Now she only looks confused, her frown heavy as she looks down at her hands, which have begun to wring together as she fidgets. “I don’t understand…” She truly doesn’t. “He should know what? I… We’re already close. We share each other’s company. We’re very good friends and he knows that I care for him. We… we discussed it once before… how he was free to pursue others. And so could I. Only…” There haven’t been any. J’kor doesn’t count in her head. That was a fling. Kiena sighs, “Telling him that I may love him or could love him or do love him but am not ready, seems like a tease, Kimm. A cruel one. Worse yet when I fear my insecurity will come in the way…”

Kimmila smirks, nodding with a knowing look. Oh yes. She knows. But then she looks into her mug and exhales softly. “I don’t know. That…I don’t know, Kiena. I don’t know him, I barely know you, and I’m no relationship expert. I was just thinking, if you didn’t want to be his first relationsihp, he should know that. First relationships…often do not turn out well.” As they both know. “Is it worse to tell him and then have him wait? Or to not tell him and maybe have him go off with someone else because he doesn’t know?” There’s a pause. “Does /he/ want a relationship?”

“Why don’t they?” Kiena asks, half curious and half rhetorically. She knows all too well how “good” her first relationship ever was. Her brows knit and she chews at her lower lip, fidgeting and uncertain. She is silent for a long time, even with Kimmila’s pause between questions. She shakes her head. “I don’t know. I’ve… not asked. I’m…” Hesitating and then she grimaces and she chuckles a touch bitter and sad. “I’m scared, Kimm. I think that’s the heart of all this.”

Kimmila shrugs with a soft sigh. “I don’t know? Maybe because no one knows what they want. Maybe because we’re so eager to be in a relationship we don’t actually think about what the relationship is? I don’t know. Nothinga gainst A’ven, he’s a wonderful man, but it just didn’t work.” Mostly because of her. Her glance to Kiena is understanding. “Scared of what?” Though she can guess. She doesn’t want to assume.

Kiena seems to take something from Kimmila’s reply, her mouth quirking into a vague smile. “You could be right. At least about… the eagerness. I rushed too fast with Zi’on. I wasn’t, at first. I was wary but he was just… persuasive. There were doubts from the start but I ignored them.” She shrugs. They all know the story now. “A’ven?” The name rings a bell to her and her smile returns, faint and crooked. “I think I’ve met him. Once or twice. New to Xanadu.” But she’s curious now. How little she knows of Kimmila! What is Kiena afraid of? Simple. “Losing him. Hurting him. Everything.” the last is said with a slightly frustrated and exasperated tone. Ugh, these emotions!

Kimmila nods with a small frown. “Persuasive, yes. It’s…never good to ignore your doubts.” A lesson they’ve both learned. “Yes, A’ven. He was my first. My only, until Th’ero. We were friends growing up, and grew into more. He just transferred to Xanadu too. He’s a very nice man. Single parent to our daughter when I ran away.” Leaning back, she sips her tea with an understanding nod. “I don’t really have the answers…but I always am a fan of talking things out, personally. Or you could just kick back, enjoy it, and see where it goes? I mean I hardly had any desire to fall in love with Th’ero. It just…happened. Thankfully for me, he was falling in love too.”

“Wish I had known that valuable lesson when I was sixteen,” Kiena drawls and then quiets again to listen. “He was nice, from what I remember of our conversation. Never would have known…” That he and Kimmila had had history. Now she does and she regards the other bluerider curiously, brows lifting but no judgement coming for mentioning running away. Kiena did the same, in a sense. “I was going to kick back and enjoy it. It’s what I am doing now, only… maybe I should talk to him. When the timing is better. He… has some family stuff right now and it’d just be unfair to throw more onto his plate.” Tilting her head, she peers at Kimmila and smirks. “So it is possible then? Love. Like what you and my brother have. What I see between Ka’el and Soriana?”

Kimmila chuckles. “I believe everyone is an idiot until they’re in their 20’s. If you’d known, you probably would have gone and done it anyway.” Then there’s a nod. “Maybe…I don’t know, Kiena. Sorry he’s got family stuff going on, that’s never a good time to make decisions like that.” A gentle smile pulls at her lips. “It is possible. And I didn’t think it would be. No offence to your brother but I thought he and I were the most unlikely people to ever fall in love. Ever. Because of our pasts, and how damaged we’d both been.” There’s a pause. “Though…I’m his first love. So. Maybe it can work out?” Maybe the girls are the ones who make the mistakes. Maybe the boys know when they find their person. “It’s possible. With the right person.”

Kiena laughs, “You know… you’re probably right?” She has to give her that. For the apology, she only shakes her head. How was she to know? “No, it’s not. Right now I’m just glad I can be there to help him and that he even comes to me for help. He’s been so supportive to me. Now I can return all of that.” And she will do her absolute best. Even if half the time she fumbles through it. “Heh, well. I was rather surprised that he actually fell in love myself. Or that someone loved him. But I knew him then only as I remembered him as Kelthero. Maybe it was that you were both so damaged that brought you two together?” she murmurs, smiling and trying not to wrinkle her nose at how mushy that sounds to her ears. “Maybe it is. I… try to hold some hope on it.” But not much.

Kimmila sips her tea and nods, though then she laughs. “You were surprised? I suppose Kelthero and Th’ero are vastly different people…Sometimes I feel like now, he’s trying to make up for lost time and for mistakes he made in his youth. He is such a loyal, compassionate, romantic man. But it took a lot of digging to find that.” Chuckling, she lifts a shoulder in a shrug. “It’s possible. We both had no illusions about ourselves or others. We were both damaged, bitter, jaded…so we had no illusions. No thoughts of storybook romance. We did what we wanted, and it worked out.” Lucky, lucky them. “You never know what might happen. He might find someone, you might find someone. You might stay friends forever. You might grow apart. There’s really no way to know. I thought I’d be with A’ven forever. Friends if nothing else. But… it didn’t work out that way. Really, in the end? The only person who is there with us forever is our dragon.”

“Well, yeah? I’d lost touch with my brother. I had no idea of the man he’d become and I figured he was still… holdless somewhere.” Kiena admits with a grimace. Surprise, surprise? Instead he resurfaced as a bronzerider, of all things! “Romantic?” That has her almost sputtering as she struggles not to burst out laughing. “You serious? I… well, I guess I could believe that from what you’ve told me.” Lucky them! Kiena thinks they’re extremely lucky. “No, I guess there isn’t a way to know and there’s no sense worrying myself over it, huh?” She smiles crookedly. “I don’t think Ujinath would ever let me forget that.”

Oh, that was their secret, right? “Well,” Kimmila backpedils, “romantic for him…” They are extremely lucky. Then she shrugs. “Hard to plan these sorts of things. And no, there’s no need to worry about it, certainly not. Just have to wait and see how it turns out.”

Oops? Kiena grins in a way that is almost wolfish. Too late! But she’ll keep that tidbit of knowledge to herself. “Uh huh. Well, I’ll admit I think you two are great for each other. Needed. And I hope you both have many, many more happy Turns together.” She will nod her head again, smiling in a thankful way. “We’ll see.” she murmurs in agreement.

Kimmila smiles. “Thanks,” she says, lifting her mug in a silent toast. “I appreciate that. And Faranth. I hope we do too.” Please, please say they do. Forever. She can’t handle another heartache. “Oh, did I ever ask how things went with J’kor?” Because…that’s a great topic to bring up right now, yeah?

Kiena dips her head to acknowledge the toast. Her mug is somewhere in front of her and she’s only just getting comfortable now that she’s not fussing and fidgeting. They’re covering all bases, aren’t they? “Uh…” Cue another blush. A dark one. “No, you didn’t. Thanks for that, by the way.” Sarcasm — kind of. Smirking, she goes on to add: “It went fine. After I had to talk him out of bolting the moment he found out Th’ero’s my brother. We had dinner.” Pause. “And dessert.” She’ll leave Kimmila to fill in the blanks.

Kimmila grins, and the grin only widens at the sarcasm and the blush. Score. “You’re welcome,” she says, smug and dry. “Ugh, do you have to deal with that a lot? Dessert…I think he’s excellent at dessert.” Not that she knows from personal experience. But he’s hardly a…one-person chef. Bad analogy. Bad, horrible sfw analogy. “But you enjoyed yourself.”

Kiena sucks at hiding things. “That had to be the first time it ever came up. But he didn’t even want to touch me until I reassured him that doing so wouldn’t bring Th’ero’s wrath down on his head.” Lovely. Talk about a mood killer? Not that… it succeeded. She just eyes Kimmila. “How’d you know?” she fires back, her turn to grin teasingly. “Hmm?” Oh, she’s totally and playfully accusing her. “Yes. I did.” And then had guilt about it. Typical?

Kimmila grins. “He’s a greenrider. I’ve heard…things. Nice guy though. He’s a very nice guy. THoughtful, I hope? Treated you well?” She grins. “Well good then! I’m glad you enjoyed yourself. You needed a night of fun.”

Kiena smirks. “There’s a lot said about greenriders and not even half of it true…” she drawls. Yet Kimmila was right about J’kor! Very right. “Mhm. He is. Thoughtful and… well, yeah he did.” There’s that blush again. Ahem! “You think I’d have given him the time of day if he didn’t?”

Kimmila laughs. “Yes, I know that much, but he’s a nice guy. And no, I don’t think you would’ve. Going to do it again?”

Kiena just eyes Kimmila again and then laughs, shaking her head. “Maybe? Maybe not.” she drawls with a vague grin. It’s not an answer and she knows it. But she’s not about to dredge up more of her insecurities. She’s done enough of that for one morning. Glancing towards the wallows, she exhales softly. “I should probably be heading back. Rescue Th’ero too from Eliana and Ezsrisa.”

Kimmila smiles, chuckles, but doesn’t press. “I’m sure they’re all having a great time. Thank you for coming to talk with me though, I appreciate it. I feel a bit better about the twin thing. Maybe it won’t be that bad.”

“I dunno about that. The girls can become demanding and quarrelsome at the drop of a hat.” Kiena muses fondly about her daughters, slowly pushing to her feet. “Anytime, Kimmila. I know I’ve not been the greatest with keeping in touch but… glad to know our chat helped. And… thank you too, for your help.” Smiling, she chuckles. “Maybe it won’t, eh? If I don’t see you again till the babes are born… hope it all goes well. And feel free to write? Even if just to rant and vent about the injustice of it all.” she drawls with a crooked grin.

Kimmila smiles, though she doesn’t get up. “Clear skies, Kiena. Thanks for coming to visit. I enjoyed it. And this time I didn’t even have to abandon you in the woods.” Her eyes twinkle.

“I enjoyed it too,” Kiena murmurs as she walks over to collect her damp jacket and slip it on, trying so hard not to grimace in disgust at the feel of it. Ugh. Pausing, she just stares at Kimmila and then laughs. A very good, deep and genuine laugh. “Never going to let that go, are you?” she says, winking at her. “And I deserved it. Clear skies, Kimmila! Send Th’ero my regards.” Since she’ll be busy wrestling him free of her girls and trying to get back to Xanadu before they pitch a fit over having to leave “so soon”.

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