Once More, with Feelings (after Leirith's flight)

Guest Weyr
Rustic and simple, this cottage sits at the edge of the forest near the feeding grounds. The decor is spartan with a wide, comfortable bed and a couch, table and chairs and small kitchenette. Kept stocked with food and drink, the bed freshened with sheets and coverlets after each use by the weyrstaff, it's nothing more than a place to give riders a bit of privacy should they need it.

Ah, yes. The tumult of another flight, the frustrations (for half the parties involved, anyway) of memory and segments of time ripped away under the influence of mating dragons and lost but for what remains in the reminder of ruined sheets and intimate bruises. Risali might not have the experience of any other colored rider with morning afters, but she certainly knows when awareness starts to creep back in that the exertion it takes to simply hitch her leg up a little higher on whoever she's curled into the chest of shouldn't take that much effort. Risali also knows that, while Leirith tends to favor Garouth, she never quite can remember well enough just who it is that won — especially not when the first vestiges and flickers of fragmented happenings bleed back in to tell her that indeed, there was a flight, and indeed, that body she's pressed up against feels familiar enough, but could just be deceivingly comfortable. So Risali jerks back, much like a startled animal, looking wild beneath the reckless placement of her sleep-and-other-less-sleep-caused tousled hair while grey eyes find - "Dash." LISTEN. It was probably always going to be D'lei, but that doesn't keep the trepidation at bay. So Risali exhales, and winces, and crumbles back in against the Once More Crowned Weyrleader, so that fingers can find lips, and jaw, and chin to trace in silence - whether he's awake or not. Still, there's a quiet smile, and a softly whispered, "Congratulations again, Weyrleader." Because his victory PLEASES HER. GREATLY.

Look, just because R'hyn NEVER HAPPENED, OKAY??? that doesn't mean there's not a risk of it not-happening-nope-DENIED again. D'lei sleeps the rest of the pursuer satiated to exhaustion, the pleasure of success in affirming his mate… and, oh yeah, there's also a Weyr associated to that victory, but the important part is the one who rests against him, half over him. Her startled jerk is the start of wakefulness for him, the question of what's-wrong reaching down to dreams and prodding him upward - and then his name, reaching to help draw him up through to awake as Risali's fingers follow the shapes of his face. "…mmh." D'lei reaches up, tangling a hand through Risali's hair as he curls it behind her ear, and draws her down so that he can press his lips to hers in a kiss heated and lingering like the fireside where they… never exactly made it, before.

HOW DARE YOU BRING UP HE WHO MUST NOT BE NAMED. That never happened. Somehow there was a R'hynsus-baby conceived and Risali never touched that man. GROSS. IMMACULATE CONCEPTION. What's not gross is touching this man, the one whose hand tangles in her hair and bids her lower; the one she doesn't resist when his mouth is on hers stroking the heat of a fire that shouldn't be so eager after what was clearly a pretty demanding night. But Risali meets it, parts her lips in a soft sigh that's half thrill, half invitation, half (yes, that's too many halves) teeth and the hints of the tip of her tongue as she tastes him - and her on him - and — no. In a place that she doesn't want to have willpower of have to think, those quiet thoughts creep back in that have Risali pulling back just a little, just enough to instead spread a spattering of lingering, slow, affectionate kisses across the bridge of his nose, his brows, his eyelids, his chin, his cheeks. And yeah, she takes advantage, shifting that already-hitched leg up a little more and then over so that she can slide over him and settle her weight over his. But… she curls her arms in against her chest, rests her head just under his chin and nuzzles in against his collarbone, nips it, presses another kiss before she settles and perhaps wills her heart to sync up with the rhythm of his. BECAUSE SHE IS LISTENING NOW, with one ear pressed against his sternum. "… I was worried it wasn't going to be you this time." Not because Leirith has lost favor, not because of anything really… except. Well. Sometimes it's not him.

D'lei hardly does anything by halves, and so that kiss is passionate and deep, lips and teeth and tongue each having their third of it, and no quarter is given - until it's asked for, until Risali withdraws and D'lei lets her go… even if she's not going far. His hand untangles and retangles and untangles again, shifting down through her hair and along her spine to her back in a slow caress, and he draws in a deep breath - then lets it out, slowly, as she shifts down onto his chest as it sinks with his exhale, makes a shape for her to curl against as his arm curls up around her, below the shoulderblades - and his other, down low on her back. "Not this time." Sometimes, yeah, it might not be, but this time… his arms shift, squeeze her in against him, and D'lei half-smiles. "If it isn't me… should I wait for you?" The question's genuine, if hypothetical, with a wistful tinge of speaking of what he'd rather-not yet might-well-be. "Or should I find you after?"

Risali lifts her head, seeks out amber eyes with grey and then rests her chin on his chest. The better to see him with. "I'm not sure what you're asking me," Risali answers honestly, as fingers once more come up, shifting to press against his lips as if she might divine the meaning by mere touch. "But I do know that if it's not you, you should probably start preparing a pit in the middle of somewhere-nobody-can-find. Because I'm going to need help hiding a body." Instead of a smile, instead of that hint of mischief, Risali's lips pull downward, into a frown and - "I…" an exhale. "I felt like Zyddagath was too close. Not… not too close to winning. I mean… I don't remember any of that, honestly." Her words taper off into a softer whisper, but she continues with, "But too close when she started to feed. I don't want anybody except for you to lead beside me, but I'm pretty sure that I would have to figure out how to kill a bronzerider if it was him." And now she's pressing a gentle kiss to his chin, tucking back in against his chest, listening to his heart. "But what did you mean?"

D'lei hehs, then kisses those fingers against his lips, a smile - at first - and then a frown. "Zyddagath…" It's practically a curse word. "Ki'lian was too close to you." The frown deepens, his eyes shifting down, and then back up as one corner of his mouth quirks. "You know you're free to do what you want." It was almost a smile, and now it's gone. "But he… he acts like he's going to charm you into doing it. Like he thinks he'll catch your mind and hold you there while he takes you." D'lei tucks his chin. "If he wins, I'll be getting the shovel." To dig that pit of a not-so-shallow grave. But… it wasn't Zyddagath, and D'lei forces out a slow exhale as if he'll banish the thought along with it. He tilts his head, nuzzling softly at the top of Risali's hair and giving it a kiss as he lets that distraction take hold - and return him to her question. "If it's… T'revs, say." To name a bronzerider who certainly isn't D'lei… but who's still a reasonable person and probably not deserving of murder. "Would you want me to sit outside and wait for you?" His gesture to the cottage's entrance is barely visible, just a move of his hand from her back before it settles there. "To break the door down and invade?" The smile's back, though with a wry tinge. "Or… to go find Nailii, or K'vir…"

There's a heartbeat of silence that leads into two, into three, and it's not until D'lei has finished speaking altogether that Risali moves, that she shifts to sit up over him, to study him with brows furrowed in a hint of confusion and, "I know, but…" lips pull in though, teeth come down on the corner to worry because what if she does what she always does and messes up what she's trying to say? "I… want to start out by making it clear that I have no attraction to Ki'lian. I don't. I think… he reminds me of my Dad, in some respects, and there's a part of me that wants to help him not fall. But… it's not an attraction. I don't…" A shiver, another pull of lips down as her eyes close. "I don't want his hands on me." It's a whisper, stark in its honesty, but honest. "But do you… does it make you uncomfortable when I'm around him? Because… because I know I can do what I want to do. But you are my weyrmate, and your comfort comes before anybody else's." And then she's parting with a soft exhale that's half a laugh, another inward draw of her brows as she sits up a little more straight and those fingers start to trace patterns on D'lei's chest, down his stomach, down to where their bodies meet and then back up again, along her own thighs. "What I want, Dashiel, is for whatever you feel like you want in that moment. I want you to be happy. If breaking down the door, or sitting outside, or finding Nailii or Kyzen makes you happy, then that's what I want. I don't want you to wait for me like a lovesick puppy. I'm not… other people. But I don't want you to think that you can't be there if you're uncomfortable with what's happening." A gentle thunk of a smol fist against his chest, because she's pretty sure she mucked up her words, but… she lifts her gaze again to hold his. And she waits.

D'lei nods, the sort of simple acceptance for Risali's lack of attraction to Ki'lian that makes it clear he'd never thought otherwise - never had a question of it - in the first place. He strokes his hand slowly along Risali's back, a gentle caress, and then a sideways tug of his mouth in a grimace as the more tangled-thought and complicated-ideas part of it comes around. "I… he's like a half-feral dog that might bite." D'lei frowns, a shadow across his face. "I think… that's sort of how you see him, too. And that's… it's okay. If…" A wry almost-smile to the grimace. "Maybe you can tame him and some nice family will adopt him. You know what you're doing. You're good at it. I just… I worry what bacteria that mangy mutt might have in his mouth." D'lei smiles, humour without happiness, and tucks his head down to nuzzle in against Risali's hair, hiding there for a moment as his arms shift around her motion in that caress. He listens to her explanation, her answer, and smiles - for real - as he gives another kiss and then lifts his head to meet hers. "Okay. I can do that." Whatever he wants! Such a simple-sounding thing, but… well, it sort of is, even if it sort of isn't.

"What's a dog to a wolf? Or a wild feline, for that matter," Risali asks, humor in the words because WHO IS THE WOLF, AND WHO IS THE FELINE IN THIS SITUATION? "We both know that he's trying to charm the wrong woman if he thinks that he can pin me down or manipulate me into doing anything. Chances are that he'll get bit before he bites." Of course, those women don't always realize that it's happening. "And I have you if somehow he manages, to steer me back towards reason." A heartbeat, and then, softly, "And Kyzen…" An exhale. "Faranth. Kyzen." Now Risali shifts, rolls off of D'lei as concern catches up and she comes to rest on the side of the bed, her legs over it, her back bent as she curls in on herself just so and buries her face into her hands. "Leirith couldn't have gone up at a worse time." Give her a moment to breathe, to slowly move some of those aching, protesting muscles, and then Risa's looking over her shoulder to Dash, through so dang much hair. "He isn't handling Bethari's transfer well." A grimace. "I told him he should go be with her if that's where he is happiest." A pause, and then a hiccup of laughter that carries no humor. "He asked me not to push him away. He told me that he was happy here with us, that it was just something he would have to work through. He begged me, D'lei. I don't… I don't understand."

D'lei laughs, though it's silent; the exhale of breath without its sounds, and the nod that goes with them. Risali SURE CAN BITE, and not just in the sexy ways. And D'lei knows this, and he nods to this, and it doesn't mean he doesn't worry - because he does - but not so much that he'll say Risali shouldn't try her best with milkbones and leash. She'll try! And D'lei, well… he'll be there to add his bite to hers, if that becomes needed. And… Kyzen? The name comes with a wave of emotion that makes D'lei's brow furrow in questions, and he sits up to follow Risali. He sits, beside and a bit behind her, with one leg extended, the other tucked under it, and his hand on her back to rest and softly touch, to wait and… "Shells." D'lei tucks his chin, a drop of his eyes down to his leg, to the bed between them, up to Risali's own leg and then across the room before re-focusing to her. "…neither do I." The words are soft, the tug at the corner of his mouth a wry one, and D'lei shifts closer to Risali, his arm moving to encircle her shoulders.

Risali shifts backwards, brings up hands to catch at the arm around her shoulders and turns just enough to press her forehead in against D'lei's temple without forcing either of them to give up or take much more space than what's already afforded between them. Is that a hint of emotion in the way she swallows down a breath? It is. And perhaps it's the reason she was even on the dock yesterday, yelling obscene insults and wishing laughable curses on people whom she can't exactly recall without the touch of a proddy mind and the clarity of sobriety. A shake of her head, another heartbeat of hesitation and, "What does it say about me, that I couldn't tell him it'd be okay if he went?" Didn't she say the same thing to D'lei once too, in a forest, the day they'd come to understand that friends just wasn't something they could be? Or, well… wanted to stay? "I love him, D'lei. But… what if… what if it's different now?" And here she withdraws again, to transition away from D'lei's body, away from the bed, onto her feet where she gathers up a jacket - hers, or his, or maybe even Lani's - and shrugs into it, holding it closed with hands crossed over her body as she paces the floor, as one hand strays up and into her hair in an almost frantic gesture of helpless floundering. "And I'm the reason any of this," a gesture around, "is like it is." So she stills, and grey eyes find amber, and yes, there is a suspicious wet in them, but… Risali looks less like she's going to crumble, and more like she's angry. Because of course she is. Because that's the only way that Risali knows how to be sad and strong at the same time. "Maybe I just need to… to get back to the basics with him. But…" another sweep of one hand to encompass a lack of know how. "Do I want to? He's… one of the fathers of our children. And I…" A beat. "I don't…" Nope. Apparently she's not going to finish that thought. She makes a frustrated sound in her throat, and starts the pacing again. "Fuck you, Bethari. Fuck you." But, probably not for the reasons that most people might jump to suspecting.

"…what does it say about him, that he couldn't hear it?" D'lei's voice is soft, not arguing so much as recontextualizing. It takes two people to have a conversation, to exchange ideas and have them received, and… maybe the fuckup's on the other side. Or - more likely - it's on both sides, a garbled message and a broken receiver, and between them they make the whole thing a clusterfuck. Yay? D'lei nods, a wince as he does, and his arm falls as Risali rises, comes to rest on his own knee as he tucks the other one up into a cross and sits there on the bed, watching Risali, listening to her as she paces and flails and rages because it feels more productive than weeping. "Kyzen won't decide," he says, and there's a certain cold to his voice that firms it by freezing it. "Not between you and Bethari." A grimace, a disapproval for that… and then he shakes his head, cracking the ice and letting it go. "He's our weyrmate. We live in his weyr." …okay, there's some frustration in that, but it's more hot than cold, a geyser-flare that subsides again. "He wants that. Weyrmates. A weyr. //His weyr. And Bethari won't give it to him." A shrug, because D'lei doesn't know why, doesn't care to know why, but he knows it - or thinks he does. "…and now she's going. And it's harder for him to pretend."

Risali cuts a look sideways to D'lei, something that's almost stricken, that she swallows down and turns into words, "I broke him enough when I told him that you were going to be in our life regardless of what he wanted. I don't think it'd be kind to make it clear which one of you I belong to." Or maybe it would. Love is stupid, and complicated, and… Risali seems to deflate, arms coming across her chest, gaze striking away from D'lei and focusing on the wall instead. "I don't want him to choose between us," she answers, hushed but honest. "I want him to be happy. I'm just starting to wonder if… I love Kyzen the same way I love you. I realized that… I would be sad, but… I'd be okay if he went to Ierne. If… If he visited us instead of visiting Bethari." And now those grey eyes are coming up again to find amber, to hold, as her lips pull up in a self-deprecating smile. "I'm really awful, aren't I?" A hesitation, and… Risali moves, closer to D'lei, closer to the bed, one more moment and she's settling beside the bronzerider, pressing her shoulder into his as hands settle just behind her to support the weight of her upper body. "But he said he wants to be with us. And… and yes, the weyr is…" A pause. "A problem. But now I feel like if I take a step back, I'm going to devastate him. I don't want to hurt him Dash. I don't… I don't know what I want." A beat. "You. Our children. When did that change?"

D'lei's mouth turns to the side, a grimace, but he has no answer for what would - or wouldn't - be kind. He nods, slightly, to how Risali doesn't want K'vir to choose - but there's a 'but' in his expression despite the agreement. She doesn't want him to choose - but does Bethari? Does, at some subconscious level, K'vir? Risali is far from the only person in this tangle of a relationship, but… he doesn't speak immediately, and then there's something he has no argument for, because… well, how can he argue with Risali about her own feelings? He may second-guess her interpretation of someone else, but… "I'm the one who steals hearts and wrecks relationships," he retorts, with a wry smile because it's kind of funny how it's sad. "You. Niko." Not that the bluerider and Ricki aren't still together, but. "She told me, after Garouth caught, that he'd be so jealous of her. Because of me." His other hand moves, a gesture to indicate his own self sitting there, from shoulder to hip. D'lei sighs, a slow exhale, and as Risali comes to join him he reaches to brush his fingers softly across her cheek, to gather some of her hair and tuck it behind her shoulder. "…nowhen and everywhen?" he suggests, a time and lack of it because it's been every moment of their lives (together) so far, and a half-smile that fades. "…but yeah. That's what he said." Unsaid, a question if that's what Kyzen actually wants - not that Dash believes the younger bronzerider would lie to them, but… self-deception can happen to anyone. How hard can it be to know what you want? …very, that's how. The corner of D'lei's mouth tugs in, a grimace, and his gaze shifts toward the wall, lowered as it does. "I don't want you trapped." His words are soft. "I want you to want Kyzen. To love him. Not to feel you… have to, or else you'll hurt him." The corner of his mouth twitches again, and amber eyes flick back up to grey. "I know. There's not much I can do about it. It's just…" A problem.

"I do love him," Risali answers on a whisper. "Very much. It just feels like something changed, and I don't know what it is." A beat, Risali turning towards fingers to kiss them, and then she nudges D'lei gently, a hint of a smile curling on her lips. "And anyway, I have it on good authority that Ricki didn't really understand how Niko felt. About you, or her, or you and her together. I think he was just happy that he was happy." There's a tilt of her chin upwards, a press of a kiss into his jaw. "And you didn't ruin anything between me and Kyzen, Dash. I love you both, for different reasons. I was - am - the one who seems really good at breaking things." There's that self-deprecation, and then an exhale. "It will work itself out. It's not like I don't want Kyzen anymore, Dash. I just… am going to shut up." So Risali moves again, this time perhaps just a little precariously so that she can hook one leg over D'lei's and pull herself into his lap, arms coming around his shoulders to anchor herself there. She presses her forehead to his, nose to nose, eyes closing as she exhales. "I think you're right, by the way. About… Ki'lian, I mean. He told me that… he wouldn't refuse me, but that he wasn't the one I wanted. I told him that I didn't understand, but that he didn't want me either." A shift. "And he said… that that was way he didn't take me." When Risali leans back, those brows are raised, as if she doesn't quite know what to say about the other bronzerider's wording, as if he could take her. "So I assured him that he couldn't handle me, and he told me that I was like the sea." Brows furrow, go distant. "But Leirith was proddy, so I think he was getting the wrong idea."

D'lei nods, quiet and serious… then hehs at Risali's report on Niko, another nod for that one. "We're all bad at this, aren't we?" he asks with a wry smile. "Knowing what people think, what they want, making each other happy…" Love. Affection. Relationships. WHAT ARE THEY EVEN. "…or good at this." Breaking things, that is. "Depending on how you look at it." A crooked smile, and then it fades. D'lei reaches out, tucking his arms around Risali as she settles into his lap and curling there to hold her, warm and close around. "…I should probably talk to him too," he says, with a rueful and self-deprecating smile. "Or try, at least." To find time. To find words. To find a way through this tangled mess that is being people, apart and together and across weyrs or in the same one. However it works, or doesn't, or… yeah. Dash closes his eyes as well, breathing in Risali's exhale - then opens them again, with a faint furrow of brow - and then a frown, as context comes to situate it. "…yeah. He…" A humourless smile. "He thinks in terms of take." D'lei's mouth shifts to a frown. "And he hates admitting he's not in control." An upward quirk at one corner, half smile with half still frown. "Even to himself. Maybe especially then, I don't know. But…" The frown deepens. "I think he stuggles more with Zyddagath than he admits. He's not in charge. But he'll pretend, because the alternative is admitting that there's something he can't do, can't… master… and… that'd be showing weakness. And he doesn't know how to be strong, he thinks it's a matter of never being weak."

"Bad?" Risali echoes, another raise of brows to complement that slow smile at the corners of her lips. "I think you're the only one of us that's any good at it. Have you tried not being so…" a beat, "You? Amazing?" That's what happens when you're an event horizon, after all: you pull everything else around you in. As for Ki'lian, well… maybe he's an event horizon in his own right, but not the kind that lures in Risali. So Risa parts with a breath of laughter and, "You aren't wrong. I think he's… used to getting his way. With everything. With women, with… whatever it is he did before Zydd." A roll of her shoulders. "But I feel like I made it clear that I wasn't interested, and that it takes a hell of a man to handle me." There's that hint of mischief in the curl of her lips again, in the press of them against his brow. COMPLIMENTS FOR YOU, DASH. TAKE THEM. But Risali stills, hesitates a fraction of a second before she leans back just enough to find D'lei's eyes with her own, dragging fingers from shoulderblades, up, up, to press up along his neck, to trace his jaw and come to rest with his face between her hands. "… Are you unhappy, Dash?" Because, well. That matters. It matters… a lot, actually. And it seems that she's coming back around to the more difficult topic at hand: K'vir.

"Mmh." D'lei considers this proposal. Who else could he be? Maybe a bluerider from Igen? A smith out of the Reaches? Oh! He could be a dolphin! But… he laughs. "I doubt I'd be much good at it." He is who he is, and it's all that he is! Or at least most of it, enough to pull in a Risali right to him and squeeze her in the gravitional pull of his arms. Because… well, D'lei is no Ki'lian, that's for sure. He nods to Risali for her feels, then hehs. "It's why you keep me on hand." He splays his fingers as he says it, a tease of touch and wordplay at the same time… though those fingers draw still as Risali does, shifting back toward her sides as she leans back and shows the concern in grey eyes as she seeks in amber for what may match it. His mouth tugs to the side, a wry smile that flickers against the border of grimace before he answers. "…I wouldn't be if he left." Fully into grimace, and then - "I don't mean it like I want him gone." A clarification, as D'lei's brain points out the other way to read what he just said. "Just… if he did leave. I wouldn't be upset, not for myself." For Risali being sad? Sure. For the children asking where K'vir was? Of course. But… the corner of his mouth twitches, edging to wry smile and then fading. "I'm scared I will start wanting him gone. Because… it frustrates me, when he upsets you." A moment's sad smile, because he knows that Risali loves K'vir (even when she shouts at him), and he knows he isn't here to fix all Risali's problems, and - he knows so very many things, and yet. "And that we're crammed in a blue-dragon weyr with three metallics and four children." Who, let's be clear, take up at least as much room as a dragon.

"Good," Risali whispers, as if D'lei could ever suspect that Risali might answer in a different way. "But therein lies the problem. You're just so damn…" What are words anyway? Risali sucks her lips in towards her teeth, and makes to squeeze with her hands just a little instead while making a frustrated noise in her throat. You know. The kind that says she's suffering a severe bout of cute aggression and the answer would probably be painful to D'lei. Or his face. "Dashable." Bad jokes are bad, and Risa owns it, that crooked smile pulling sideways, mirth in her eyes, in the corners of her lips, in the way she stills and then allows it to dissipate in pursuit of much more emotionally demanding topics. Like Ki'lian, who is not so much emotionally demanding as… well… Ki'lian. But then K'vir. K'vir who… D'lei would not be unhappy to see go. "I know," Risali whispers, though there is, perhaps, something apologetic in the way that she says it, in the way that she suddenly won't meet his eyes. Because there would be no them if there was no… her. At least, the probability is astoundingly low. So Risali doesn't say anything else - not about K'vir frustrating her, not about D'lei being frustrated by that, not about D'lei's fears about possibly wanting him gone. No, Risali leans back into D'lei, presses her nose and her lips and the hint of teeth against the side of his neck and shifts her body, rolls her hips up, pulls herself a little closer, and then goes still again. It takes several heartbeats, and finally, "I've been thinking about leaving. Not… not breaking up everybody, but. Finding a weyr big enough for all of us, and then some. I thought… maybe Kyzen could keep the small sea-side place. If… if he wants to get away, or if Bethari wants to come stay with him here for a while. Then he will have there and… the rest of the time we can have a bigger home. I don't… expect either of you to come with me. But I would like it." And here's an exhale. "Or is that being too selfish, knowing that Kyzen wants to expand instead of relocate and doing it anyway?"

As bad jokes go, that one's pretty good, which is to say, it's very bad. D'lei gives Risali the look - that one that says that's awful and I am amused but also you really went there, the dubious and then the grin and then the tiny shake of his head to help dissipate it along and let other matters take its space - though at least that space has been brightened, lightened, eased a little by that humour before it's filled again with weightier thoughts, ones more laden with emotions and guilt. The corner of D'lei's mouth quirks, just a little, and he doesn't say anything more about it either… because really, what can he say? She knows that - if it weren't for Risali - D'lei would probably never have even met K'vir - save, perhaps, at some cross-Weyr meet-and-greet for Search and Rescue riders. A low probability, and an even lower one of anything more… but that's not the world they're in. This is the one with Risali, and… so it's the world where D'lei trails his fingertips down along her spine as she shifts closer, brushes to the cleft beneath and then curves to be a support as she settles, still in the warmth and silence of heartbeat as he sits, and breathes, and finally listens. "…have you ever had your own weyr?" he asks… even if it's a question he knows the answer to. He met her when she was a weyrling, saw the caverns-room she lived in before… and from there, from the weyrling barracks, she graduated… and moved in with Kyzen. "A place that was yours, not just… someplace you were invited." And welcomed, and told she could make her home, but… still. "I think it'd be good for you." D'lei tilts his head, kisses at Risali's cheek. "Leirith can make anywhere belong to her, but you… you need your own space, sometimes." His lips shift, an amused smile. "And you don't have to always run off into the woods to get it." Even if that is how she finds it; running, fleeing, getting to where the wind in her ears and the pound of raised heartbeat can drown out the rest of the world. "We could find a small place for me, to help Kyzen feel like… it's not moving away." A wry smile, because in a way it is, even if in another way, a more intended (and maybe more important) way, it isn't. "I don't think I'd have much use for it, but…" A shrug, and then a crooked smile. "We could at least say we were looking for one." Is it a lie, exactly, to claim to be looking for something that you don't actually care whether you find?

Touches that give rise to goosebumps and make Risali shiver despite the weight of that jacket still in place. Closer. Just a little closer and — "No, but I had my own room." Which D'lei knows, because that's where Risali was when they met, once she was free of barracks, AS PREVIOUSLY POINTED OUT. "But I…" Risali furrows her brows and shifts. "I don't… want my own weyr." Grey eyes come up to find amber, a flicker at the corner of her lips that might be self-deprecation, but is gone almost as quick as it has come, chased away by that kiss to her cheek that Risali turns into, returns with a press of her own lips against D'lei's jaw. "If you wanted to look for your own place, that's okay. I don't…" The dilemma: how does Risali phrase this without sounding desperate? "I don't want time away from you or from the kids or… But I only have you, and Kyzen, and our children. A spare weyr…" A hesitation. "I would have no use for it." One moment, two. "I just want more space. I want… more privacy? For us, I mean. And for the children. It's hard enough between them and work to find time for each other, it'd be nice if every now and again we could slip away into a room for a nap, or a stolen snack that we don't want to share, or…" You know. PRACTICE. MAKING BABIES. "Somewhere that I could go to play the piano without waking up everybody in the weyr. I guess I just figured that if K'vir didn't want to give up the weyr now, he could keep it, and we could still have a bigger place too. But… I suppose that forces him to choose, doesn't it?" Now Risali is pressing a kiss to D'lei's chin, lifting her hands to sweep hair back behind his ears. "Do you miss it? Having your own weyr, I mean."

"Okay." D'lei accedes readily enough to Risali's claim about not actually wanting her own, and then… a laugh, a soft one - just the bemusement of words gone wrong and confusing, then shifted to a smile… then a tilt of his head back, a lift of it up to kiss at her forehead. "I don't need my own weyr." He's confident in that, and smiles as he tilts his head back to see Risali better, to seek her eyes once more. "I liked my old one. I miss that, sometimes…" because it was badass, that's why - and because he made parts of it himself… "but I don't need one just to have it be my own." He leans in, touches his nose to hers. "It should be ours. The place where we live." D'lei's smile is warm, amber eyes a glow of affection and love… and then a quirk of amusement. "We could have a second toilet." Because yes, there's the high-concept reasons for a larger place, but there's also the eminently practical ones. D'lei grins, for a moment… and then his expression shifts, from playful to earnest. "Let's look. For a bigger place, I mean." Even though Kyzen wants to stay where they are. "We don't have to move, even if we find one. We can talk about that, all three of us… but we can't decide if we don't know what the options are. And we won't know what the options are if we don't look." Maybe they'll all be terrible, and they'll decide staying in Kyzen's cottage is the best option after all. Maybe they'll find somewhere that all three of them - including Kyzen - will fall in love with.

"And a bath," Risali intones, because apparently that's ONE OF THE MUSTS. "So that nobody can sideline us while we're trying to get clean." Because you never really get to stop running the Weyr when you run the weyr, do you? Risali moves her nose back and forth against D'lei's, an Eskimo kiss that ends with her nodding her head and… blinking grey back up to amber. It only takes a fraction of a moment for his words to register, but Risali's answering smile is… bright, and honest, and full of that same affection, that same love. "Okay." And it will be theirs. "But first, I want another kiss like the one you gave me this morning. And then you should remind me what we did last night." There's a hint of that mischief, a hint of humor gone fey in the way her lips pull and her gaze shifts. She presses her mouth to D'lei's neck, to nip, to draw skin between her teeth, to pull and catch with her lips before dragging nose and mouth up, up, up, to press against his ear. "But with actions, instead of words." And maybe she is shifting up a little higher, bringing her lips down on his, twisting fingers into his hair, and pulling to get better access. If he denies her, she'll laugh. She'll let it go. But if he doesn't? Well. The weyr will just be without their leaders for a little while longer, won't they? And Risali doesn't seem very intent on giving up her position of dominance. Not yet, anyway.

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